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How do I get a foreign girlfriend? I live in China. 怎样才能交到一个外国女友?我住在中国 
quora评论翻译： 原创翻译：三泰虎 http://www./45668.html 译者：Jessica.Wu 外文：https://www./How-do-I-get-a-foreign-girlfriend-I-live-in-China Ray Williams, An American girl, dating a Chinese guy Okay, I’m in a relationship with a Chinese man, I am a foreign girl so I feel pretty qualified to answer. Listen up China lads. 作为一个正在和中国男生交往的洋妞，我觉得自己有资格回答这个问题，听好了，中国哥们儿。 Step #1: Stop asking this question. Seriously, it is creepy. I have had tons of Chinese guys say this kind of thing to me and it freaks me out to no end. If at any point of us talking you said something like, “I always wanted to try a foreign girl,” “I really want to get a foreign girlfriend.” “Do you like Chinese guys? I like white girls!” the conversation is over. I am a person, not a target or a fetish. When you say this all I’m hearing is “I don’t care who you are, only that you are white/foreign.” 第一：不要再问这种问题了，说真的，这让人毛骨悚然。我听够了中国男人问这类问题，简直让我抓狂。如果我和你的交谈中出现了以下内容：“我一直想试试洋妞”“我真的想找个外国女朋友”“你喜欢中国男人嘛？我喜欢白人女孩！”那么我们的对话就到此为止了。我是一个人，不是什么玩物，当你说出这些话的时候，我心里觉得你想的是 “我不在乎你是什么样的人，只要你是白人/外国人就行能当我女朋友” Okay not that we got that out of the way, it’s pretty simple. 好吧，扯远了，其实这个是简单的事儿 Treat us like anyone else you’d be interested in starting a relationship with. I’m speaking from an American perspective but it holds true for most of my foreign female friends. 像对待任何一个你打算认真交往的女性一样对待我们，我是从一个美国人的角度这么说，但相信这代表大多数外国女性朋友的观点。 Get to know us really well before imagining a future with us. Chinese guys talk about getting serious so early. I mean soooooo early. If we have only met once and chatted on WeChat a few times, we aren’t dating. We aren’t even really friends yet. If you mention “love” or “marriage” or even “boyfriend” we will run. Westerners take these things much more slowly than in China. Even if we have gone out on a few dates do not assume you are my boyfriend unless you ask me. 在你幻想我们的未来之前请先了解我们。中国男人总是早早进入了状态，我的意思是实在太早了。如果我们只在微信上聊了几次，见了一次面，我们压根就不算是在约会，我们甚至都不能算真正的朋友。如果你这时候就提爱啊，结婚啊，男朋友啊之类的，我会立刻走人。西方人对于这种事的节奏远比中国人来得慢，就算我们约会过几次，也不要以为你就是我的男朋友了，除非你正式向我表白确认了。 Forget everything you think you know about foreign girls. Anything you’ve seen in movies, anything your Chinese friends have told you, useless. Unless an actual foreigner has explained something to you about their country, or unless you have spent a long time in that country, assume it is not true. 忘掉之前你对外国女孩的固有印象。你在电影中看到的以及朋友告诉你的外国女孩的形象，都不靠谱。除非你有个真正的外国人和你谈论过一些他们国家的情况，或者你真正在国外待过很长一段时间，否则这些都不是真的。 If you call us “open” and think that being open means we will have sex with you, you might get slapped. 如果你觉得我们很“开放”，认为这代表我们会随便和你上床，那你只会得到几个耳光。 Don’t think that we will be like Chinese girls. 不要觉得我们会像中国女孩一样 Figure out what kinds of things she likes, and then invite her to go do those things if it’s appropriate. 弄清楚外国女孩的喜好，有合适的机会就约她出去。 She likes coffee? Invite her out for coffee. 比如她喜欢咖啡，就邀请她去喝咖啡 Is she sporty? Go to a basketball game or hiking. 她喜欢运动，就约她去看篮球赛或者远足。 An artist? Find a gallery to go to. 她是个搞艺术的话，就带她去画展。 There is no “cheat codes” or map to foreign women. Show that you are interested in her as a person and prove it. If she likes you and is attracted to you, then yea you have a shot. Treat her well and develop a healthy relationship with her. If she tells you she is not interested, drop it. Nothing is creepier than a guy you are not interested in who won’t stop coming after you, 对于如何追外国女孩没有“作弊秘籍”或者指南地图。你需要展示出你对她的爱意并证明给她看。如果她也喜欢你，那你就有戏了。好好待她并发展一段健康的恋情。如果她不喜欢你，那就放弃。要是人家对你没兴趣，你还一直死皮赖脸的追人家，那就太恐怖了了。
[!--empirenews.page--] Jim Venucci, Capital Markets I’m a western guy, but I’ll identify a few points I feel create friction: 我是一个西方男子，但我可以指出一些会产生摩擦的地方： Western women place a greater emphasis on looks than Chinese women do, this creates a lot of misunderstanding among Chinese men, who assume that relationships/love are a simple matter of passing an exam and getting into an upper-middle class profession. For westerners this is weird, we’ve always been obsessed with naturalistic ideas of beauty (just see Renaissance art) and we feel that it’s important our partner should physically desire us, and not just view us as a meal ticket. I still can’t really work out why Chinese men don’t really care that much if their wife finds them physically undesirable. It’s one of the biggest culture disparities I encountered in the Far East. 西方女性比中国女性更注重外表，这在中国男性中造成了很多误解，他们认为关系/爱情只是通过考试和进入中上阶层职业的简单问题。对于西方人来说，这很奇怪，我们总是沉迷于自然主义的审美观(只要看看文艺复兴时期的艺术就明白了)，我们觉得我们的伴侣应该对我们有身体上的欲望，而不是仅仅把我们当作长期饭票。我仍然不能理解为什么中国男人那么不在乎，就算发现他们的妻子对他们没性趣。这是我在远东遇到的最大的文化差异之一。 Don’t explicitly mention you are into foreign women and don’t pull the whole thing about how much you hate seeing Chinese women with White men. 不要明确提及你只对外国女人有兴趣，也不要扯到你有多讨厌看到中国女性与白人男性在一起。 Try to meet half way. Don’t be passive aggressive for example and stew in your own anger, like a lot of Chinese men seem to. It’s platitudinous by this point, but westerners feel partners should communicate relationship problems. 要学会让步。不要像很多中国男人一样，以消极的态度来表现自己的愤怒。虽然这是老生常谈，但西方人认为伴侣应该通过沟通来解决感情问题。 Try to show an interest in her culture too, too often in interracial relationships involving a white partner, the white partner is expected to acquiesce to the non-white partner’s culture - particularly in regards to things like wedding ceremonies and so on. 也要试着表现出对她的文化感兴趣。在涉及白人伴侣的跨种族关系中，白人伴侣总是被期望默许非白人伴侣的文化——尤其是在婚礼仪式之类的事情上。
Anna Fang, studied at National University of Singapore 1.Go overseas for work or study This will increase the chance to meet up more foreigners.But doesn’t mean you will get a foreign girlfriend. Be more active in school events and parties. 出国工作或学习 这将增加遇到更多外国人的机会，但这并不意味着你一定能追到一个外国女友。要积极参加学校活动和聚会。 Be an interesting person
Most of my foreign friends want to know more about you when they find you are interesting person.If your personality doesn’t match with them,that’s it. You can talk various topics with them,so you need to be aware of many things and have many travelling stories. 做一个有趣的人 如果我的大多数外国朋友发现你是个有趣的人，他们都会想进一步了解你。你可以和他们谈论各种各样的话题，所以你需要了解很多事情并且有很多旅行故事。 3.if you said you like ‘white girls’ If you said this,or you have shown to them,that’s the end of the story.They prefer things happen spontaneously. Don’t force someone likes you or force you like someone just because they are foreigners. It won’t last Long….. 如果你说出了你喜欢“白人女孩” 如果你说了，或者你向她们表现出来了，那么故事就结束了。她们喜欢顺其自然。不要强迫别人喜欢你，也不要因为别人是外国人就强迫自己喜欢她们。 这种关系不会持续太久的..... 4.You need to know what you want You need to have your own opinion on what you’re want. And you need to be clear what kind of girls attracts you. If you target only on foreigner Girlfriend,you might also missed the right one. No matter where they from, that person must have something can keep you love her for the rest of your life.Find that point ,and find what you really want. Good luck! 你要弄清楚你到底想要什么样的女友 你要有主见，要弄清楚什么样的女孩会吸引你。如果你只考虑找个外国女友，那你也可能会错过对的人。不管她来自哪里，那个人一定有某种东西可以让你爱她一辈子。找到对的人，你真正想要的另一半。 祝你好运！
Adrian Lee Dunbar, China Hand Step 1: Read and re-read Essential Manners for Men: Step 2: Learn about the dating and dining etiquette. Search under “dining etiquette” on Amazon Step 3: Read men’s style magazines and guides that show how to dress and present yourself. In short develop some of that local “绅士风度”. 第一步：反复熟读男性的基本礼仪: 第二步：学习约会和餐桌礼仪。可以在亚马逊上搜索“餐桌礼仪” 第三步：阅读介绍穿衣的男士时尚杂志和指南。 简言之，就是要培养“绅士风度”。
Jenny Wynter, studied at Brampton Centennial Secondary School (2017) Try to learn more about their culture, if you haven’t already. If you find that, that’s not working be more social. Try stricking up a conversation with a stranger one day. Most importantly, be positive. Believe that you’ll find the right girl one day. Trust me, girls like confidence. Good luck! 如果你还没有了解她们的文化，那就试着多了解一些。如果这不管用的话，那就要更擅长社交，试着每天找一个陌生外国女孩攀谈。不过，最重要的是，要保持乐观。相信总有一天你会找到合适的女孩。相信我，女孩子喜欢自信的人。祝你好运！
Chandra, Masters in Computer Science, Texas A&M University Go to a foreign country! 去国外啊
Jack Zumruls, studied at Finance Dont be shy around a foreign girl. You can be a jerk, you can be an idiot, you can be a nice guy, but just dont be shy. You dont’ have to be funny, you dont have to impress her, but just be dont be shy. There is no greater advice than this. You dont have to be yourself, you can even lie if you want, just dont be shy. If you see one foreign girl, be friend her, even if she doesnt meet your expectations. 在外国女孩面前不要害羞。你可以是个笨蛋，是个白痴，是个好人，但是千万别害羞。你可以不风趣，不给她留下深刻的印象，但千万不要害羞。没有比这更好的建议了。你可以不做你自己，甚至可以撒谎只要你想，但是不要害羞。 如果你遇到一个外国女孩，和她交朋友，即使她不符合你的预期。
[!--empirenews.page--] Quora User, former Retired (1968-2014) Act very similiar to the expectations of her culture. Fluent in the language, almost flawless, with western tastes and values. 表现得符合和她的文化期望。语言流利，近乎完美，具有西方的品味和价值观。 Yes, there are always gong to be some people who will quickly cross from one culture to another, but for most people, they need similarities to get “ hook”, a starting point. It is like going into a food store geared to another culture. Try as you like, there will be few things relateable, even when you are hungry. 是的，总有一些人能很快地从一种文化过渡到另一种文化，但对大多数人来说，他们需要相似之处才能得到“吸引”对方，这是一个起点。这就像走进一家迎合另一种文化的食品店。即使你饿了也没什么食物让你有胃口，也要尽量尝试。 She will have expectations about what is “romantic”, to which you will have to conform. The good news is that even for men in her culture, these “romantic” things are just as foreign as they are to you. 她会对“浪漫”抱有期望，而你必须迎合这些期望。好消息是，即使是她们国家的男子，也和你们一样也对这些“浪漫”的东西感到陌生。 Women in western cultures are highly individualistic, a form of selfishness, not as family/parent oriented as Asians and will not be ordered around by your mother. Either your mother goes or the girlfriend goes! 在西方文化中，女性是高度个人主义的，是一种自私的表现，而不像亚洲人那样以家庭或父母为主。她们也不会受你妈差遣。要么是你妈走，要么你女朋友走！ It would be nice to think that things will work, however, women in western lands are not seeking relationships for “survival”, they have high expectations about the “relationship” and “happiness”. It hardly works for relationships within the culture. 如果一切顺利，那就太好了。然而，西方国家的女性并不是为了“生存”而发展一段恋情，她们对“恋情”和“幸福”有着很高的期望。这对跨文化的恋情来说几乎是不可能的。
Robert Charles Lee, Printbroker, financial printer, non-practising lawyer The chance is seriously low when you’re living in a sea of 1.4 billion Chinese people unless you start moving to another country. 如果你生活在14亿中国人的海洋里，那你机会真不大，除非你移民到其他国家。 Ramp up your English or foreign language. You can’t start knowing a foreigner unless your foreign language is at a fairly high proficiency. 提升一下你的英语或者其他外语水平。没有语言的帮助，你没法深入了解一个外国人。 I’ve had tons of foreign schoolmates and friends who were dying for a foreign boyfriend or girlfriend and didn’t get one until their English was up. 我有一大堆校友和朋友成天都想找个外国男友或者女友，但是英语水平提高之前他们一个都没成功 You’ve got to go out and meet those foreigners. You’ve got to get flexible with the people and things of life out there. Stop wasting time on dating apps — they don’t work unless the person is already quite good in real-life socialising. Stop living in a dungeon. 你得出门会会那些外国人。你必须灵活地对待外面的人和事。不要把时间浪费在交友应用软件上——除非这个人在现实生活中已经很擅长社交，否则这些应用不会奏效。 Some corollaries:— 以下是一些建议： If you’re a Chinese man, the sad (and uncensored) reality is that Chinese men are not particularly appealing or attractive to foreign women. You don’t have to agree, but this comes over repeatedly in my experience of Chinese men and women when growing up in 13 different countries around the world. If you do accept this, then at least you can do some realistic workarounds to increase the appeal. 如果你是个中国男人，一个悲伤的事实是：中国男人对于外国女人来说并没有特殊的吸引力。你可以不同意这一点，但是我在13个国家的生活经历验证了这是对的。如果你接受了这个事实，那至少你可以做点切合实际的事儿来增加你的吸引力。 Dress neatly and appropriately for the occasion. This applies literally to anyone in the world, but perhaps more important for the Chinese person (because of the above). Avoid conservative styles but also avoid being ‘hip’ and high fashion. Chinese people (especially the men) don’t have the frame, pitch and ‘drop’ for that. Go for something in between the two. 穿着整洁得体，并且符合场合。这条适用于全世界任何一个人，但是可能对中国男人来说更重要（因为上面提到的一点）。尽量避免保守的着装风格，但也要避免过于“时髦”以及昂贵高雅的流行款式。中国人，尤其是中国男人，不太适合这类风格。试着在这两种风格之间找个恰当的中间点。 And the proverbial “have lots of money.” 最后附赠一条格言，你要“巨有钱”
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