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雅思大作文主体论证段就得这么写2——行文连贯性

 老韩说英语 2019-12-25

前文以Simon的范文为例讨论了主体论证段结构的重要性,即主题句+支撑/扩展句,可以明确表达主题,充分提供论据,有力进行论证。然而除了利用结构之外,还需要充分利用连贯手段保持主题一致,行文流畅,展现词汇丰富性和语法复杂性。下面还是以Simon的范文为例进行行文连贯性的分析。




1. 主体论证首段:

In my opinion, so-called extreme sports are not as dangerous as many people think. All sports involve some element of risk, and there should always be clear regulations and safety procedures to reduce the possibility of accidents. People who take part in extreme sports are usually required to undergo appropriate training so that the dangers are minimised. For example, anyone who wants to try skydiving will need to sign up for lessons with a registered club, and beginners are not allowed to dive solo; they must be accompanied by an experienced professional. Finally, the protective equipment and technology used in sports from motor racing to mountain climbing is constantly improving safety.

解析:

Simon在主体论证的首段,in my opinion,承接开篇的论点,既提示自己要围绕论点展开论证,又表达出本段的主题,同时又比较自然地把开篇段和论证连接了起来。第二句以all sports连接第一句,all泛指旨在提出一般常识,sports重复,即以常识和已知事项导引出新的信息,即自己所要提出的论据来论证主题句。第三句采用基本同样的方法,people泛指,sports再次重复,继续就主题进行论证。第四句,以for example词组作过度,表示通过举例论证上句,连接自然。最后一句的连接手段类似上句以表示顺序或层次的过渡词finally连接第二句和第三句,继续论证本段主题句。


2. 主体论证第二段:

While I support regulations and safety measures, I believe that it would be wrong, and almost impossible, to ban extreme sports. In the first place, we should all be free to decide how we spend our leisure time; as long as we understand the risks, I do not believe that politicians should stop us from enjoying ourselves. However, an even stronger argument against such a ban would be the difficulty of enforcing it. Many of the most risky sports, like base jumping or big wave surfing, are practised far away from the reach of any authorities. I cannot imagine the police being called to stop people from parachuting off a mountain face or surfing on an isolated beach.

解析:

Simon在主体论证第二段,用while引导的让步状语重复上段的观点,从结构和内容两个方面把上段流畅地过渡到本段,并顺势提出另一个观点,保持内容_一致性,显得很自然,符合逻辑。第二句以过渡词组in the first place,表示下面句子将围绕主题进行多方面的论证,同时用we第一人称复数代词表示一般情况,和上句形成比较自然的连贯。另外,此句还采用非语言手段,即标点符号来表达多方面的论证。第三句,用however表示进行相反论证,用even stronger比较级表示让步来连接上句。下句用many of the most连接上句,其中,many是代词复指,加上of the most复指,承接并论证上句。最后一句以 I 连接上句,视角发生改变,与上句不尽相关,连接不够自然,甚至有些突兀,如改成it is unimaginable that…句式,连贯表达会体现得更好。但从内容来看,和本段的主题仍是一致的。


结束语:

Simon在主体论证部分使用了如下手段较好地保持了行文的连贯性:

1. 过渡词语:使用过渡词语连接上下段和上下句,围绕开篇论点或段落主题进行论证,如,in my opinionfirst of allfinally等。利用过渡词语可以明确表达起承转合和逻辑关系,是常见用法。

2. 代词复指:代词复指如,allmanyanyonewe等,可以用于回指上段或上句的词句及其内容,形成基于一般情况和周边事项的关联,便于保持连贯性。但Simon在主体论证第二段使用第一人称 I 似乎不妥,有给人突兀的感觉。

3. 名词重复:名词重复也是常用的连贯手段,便于上下句和上下段的连接,如主体论证首段多次利用sports重复,保持主题的一致性。但英语的名词重复似乎不如汉语的多,应和代词复指结合使用。

4. 状语从句:表示让步的状语从句可以比较自然地和上段或上句发生关联,往往可以通过重复已知内容,引出新的信息,例如主体论证第二段用while承接上段就是比较好的方法。

综上,用好体现连贯的手段对于保持清晰的论点或段落主题,自然流畅串联上下文具有十分重要和有效的意义。

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