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#EachforEqual Sissi: mum is more than mum #每个人的平等 #EachforEqual Sissi的等号手势 Sissi's hands-out equal pose 我的母亲 A story of my mother 今天想分享一个关于妈妈的小故事。 当我们太熟悉一个人的时候，或许会形成一个对TA的“刻板印象”。 这里的“刻板印象”是个中性词，并不是说有这种印象不好，只是它会限制我们看待这个人的角度和方式。 以母亲这个角色为例，从古至今有很多歌颂母亲的作品都在赞扬她们的伟大和无私。 很多时候，我会怀着敬佩和感恩的心情去看待妈妈。 因为在生活的方方面面中，妈妈确实是一位好母亲。 她尽职尽责地照顾女儿的生活起居，让我时刻感受着母爱的温暖。 I’d like share a story about my mom. A stereotype can be shaped when people get familiar with someone. The stereotype mentioned here is a neutral word. Sometimes the stereotype can be negative as it narrows people’s views towards someone. Take the role of mother as an example, tons of works have been created in praise of mother for their greatness and selfishness. My mum is a great mother and deserves my respect and gratitude. She takes good care of me in many ways, which brings me a sense of warmth. 因为年初突发的疫情，让我和妈妈多了更多的相处时间，也打破了我对妈妈的“刻板印象”。 很多人喜欢刷抖音来消磨无聊，我妈妈也不落俗地迷上了抖音，有时还会模仿一下抖音里的网红菜或小妙招。 过年的时候，妈妈突然向我请教怎么发抖音。当时我并没有多问她要发什么内容，甚至在指导完之后都忘记了这件事。 但不久后，我的抖音推送了一批新的好友，妈妈的账号也在其中。我好奇地点开后，发现居然都是关于外婆的小视频。 这些短视频的剪辑并不算十分“精美”，但是却饱含心意。 每一条视频都认真加了滤镜和特效，标题也看得出是用心配合内容取的。 看完之后，我眼眶有些湿润，心中也涌起一股惭愧之情。 I have more time to spend with my mum because of an unexpected epidemic happened in the beginning of 2020. This long vacation also breaks my stereotype towards my mum. Many people would watch Tiktok to kill time, so does my mum. Sometimes she shares recipes and life tips posted in Tiktok with us. During the spring holiday, she asked me to teach her how to post videos in Tiktok. I did not ask her what she was going to post and even forgot about it after this tutorial. One day, Tiktok automatically recommended a batch of Tiktok accounts to me, including my mum’s. A butch of videos about my grandma jumped out when I clicked my mum’s account with curiosity. Those videos were just clipped in an easy but heartfelt way. Each piece of video was added with filters and special effects. The title of each video was named according to its contents. After watching all the videos, I felt a sense of shame with tears in my eyes. 一直以来我都以“母女之道”来和妈妈相处，忽略了妈妈的其他“形象”。 妈妈其实也是女儿，也会用自己的方式去记录和表达母亲的思念； 妈妈也是学生，对于不了解的新鲜事物，她总会第一时间来向我请教； 妈妈也是老师，过年在家她总是特别喜欢拉着我陪她鼓捣她养的花花草草，仔细传授她的经验； 妈妈也是朋友，虽然她对时下很多新潮术语和概念并不了解，但也愿意用包容的心态去看待和讨论。 Most of time I only see one side of my mum, which the role of mother and neglect the other roles of her. She plays a role of daughter, using her own way to express feelings and show love to my grandma. She plays a role of student, coming to me at the first time when encountering new things. She plays a role of teacher, teaching me how to nurse plants during this vacation. She plays a role of friend, viewing the new things with an inclusive attitude. 以前总觉得因为年龄差距、生活经历不同等原因，造成了母女之间所谓的“代沟”。 但是现在才觉得，是先入为主地给妈妈代入了“母亲”的形象。显然这对她并不公平，“母亲”只不过是她的其中一面。 她也有自己的兴趣爱好，有自己的朋友圈和生活方式。 当她选择成为一位母亲时，也有意无意地弱化或放弃了她的一些其他形象。 I used to think that the age difference and different life experience would lead to a so-called generation gap between mother and daughter. Now I realize that it is unfair to view my mum just from one side. 'Mother’ is one role of her. She also has her hobbies and interests, her friends and her lifestyles. She might sacrifice other roles of her when she decides to become a mother. 这次疫情让我更加深刻地体悟到人类的渺小和命运的无常。 我想我会更加珍惜和妈妈在一起的时光，去更多地了解她和陪伴她。 Because of the epidemic, I deeply understand the smallness of human and the capriciousness of fate. I will spend more time to learn about my mum and cherish every minute I spend with her. 陶理看完这段的感受： Hermione's feelings: Sissi分享的内容让我想到了龙应台写给母亲的书——《天长地久：给美君的信》，这里面我印象很深的就是有一段她提到：我多想和母亲也多做一些和我的女性朋友会一起做的事情。可惜的是，当时她的母亲已经患上了阿尔兹海默症。所以我会觉得，Sissi能现在就认识到她也希望母亲是自己的朋友是特别温暖的一件事情。 What Sissi shared reminded me of a book written by Lung Ying-tai to her mum Ying Mei-jun. One of the most impressive part I remember is: How I wish I could do more things with my mum that I would do with my female friends. It is sad to know that when she was writing this book, her mum already had Alzheimer's disease. That is why Sissi's thoughts of considering mum as your friend brings me some warmth. source: https://book.douban.com/subject/30280610/ 我当然知道不是所有的母亲都是对子女负责任而且友善的。但我想在我们的生命中总会出现“母亲型”或者至少是“姐姐型”的人物，即使目前还没有出现，那么其实你也不必觉得不幸，你自己可以先成为你想看到的这个人的样子。在你发光发亮，给别人带来温暖的时候，也会有人想和你靠近的，不是为了向你索取，而是真的关心你，也希望给你带来支持。 I know for sure not all mums are responsible and kind to all her children. But I think sooner or later, we will have a "mother-figure" or at least "sister-figure", even they have not appeared yet, you do not need to feel unlucky, you can always choose to be person you would like to see. And when you are shining, bringing warmth to people around you, there will be people who come closer to you, not for asking more from you, but truly want to take care of you, be there with you and support you. |
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