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题图由三又木提供 Sanyoumu provides the cover photo.
{三又木说题图背后的故事} {Sanyoumu explains the story behind the cover photo} After class, we invited one of our Year1 pupils to take this for us Chantel is our school English teacher, from South Africa. She is very enthusiastic and really loves children. The first day she came to school, she introduced herself and her family; I realized that she worked in Hangzhou while her husband stayed at home, helping her with some housework which is not so normal. I am very interested in her story, and as IWD is coming, Hermione asked me whether I would like to write something; I thought by then I have enough reasons to interview with her. The following is our conversation; I have made some small changes for understanding. I have asked Chantel’s permission to report it, and Chantel has checked this article.Chantel 是从南非来的我工作学校的英语外教， 她非常热情，尤其喜欢孩子。她第一天来到学校做自我介绍，她开玩笑说自己工作赚钱而丈夫则是一个“家庭主夫”。我对她的故事产生了好奇，正好缪邀请我写一篇妇女节的内容，理由足够充分，所以我借此机会正式采访了一下Chantel。下面的内容就是我俩的对话，当然为了方面理解，我做了一些小的修改。这篇文章已经经过她检查并允许发布啦～！Me: Unusually, a woman work and her husband stay at home. I really want to know how do you decide with your husband.我：女性外出工作而男性在家，这并不常见。我很想知道你和你丈夫是如何做这个决定的。 Chantel: My husband worked for the government in South Africa for 35 years. When I came to China, my first year, I came on my own, and my husband stayed behind with our children. The year was challenging. So the next year, I said to him I would like to come back, but I'm not going alone. That’s when we decided together that he would resign, and then he would get his money from the government, so he's able to stay home, and I can teach. Chantel: 事实上在此之前我的丈夫在南非的政府工作了35年。当我独自来到中国的第一年，我的丈夫在南非和我的孩子们在一起。那一年非常辛苦。所以下一年我告诉他，我很想再回中国，但是我不愿意一个人前往。就是那个时候我们决定，他辞职，同时他会得到一笔政府的钱，这样他可以在家呆着，而我就可以教书了。Me: Oh, I love this story. Your husband really supports you—我：我很喜欢这个故事～你的丈夫非常支持你。Me: So when you were in South Africa. When your husband worked in government, did you teach? Chantel: Yes, I did. Our kids were still very young, and when they finished schooling, that’s when we decided, okay, now it's our time. We can travel, we can see the world, and I can teach.Chantel:是的。我们的孩子那时候还年轻。当她们完成学业的时候，我们想，哦，现在是我们的时间了。我们可以旅行，可以看看这个世界，我还能教书！
Me: Woohoo, it’s so wonderful. So when you were in South Africa, who did the housework? 我：哇啊啊，太棒了！那你们在南非的时候，谁做家务呢？Chantel: We had a helper. She would come in three times a week because it wasn't necessary to have her every day. We would do our own washing. She would have to hang it out on the line and get it when it's dry. She would help clean the house because we both worked late. We could get home, and the house would be clean. Chantel:我们那时候雇了一个帮手。她每周过来三次，毕竟也没那个必要每天一次。我们会做好洗衣服的工作，她会帮我们晒衣服收衣服，她会帮忙打扫，毕竟我俩都工作到很晚。（因为这个帮手）我们回家的时候，家里总是很干净。Me: Oh, so do you still have a helper in China?Chantel: My husband is my helper. But he doesn't do the cooking because I don't want him to feel like I work, and I want him to do everything in the house. He will wash up, clean the house, and make the bed and all of that, but no cooking. When I work late, my daughter will cook, but when she starts university, I will do the cooking. Chantel:我丈夫就是我的帮手！当然他不烧饭烧菜，因为我不想让他觉得因为我工作他宅家，我就有权利让他做每件事。他会洗衣服，打扫，整理床等等，但是不烧菜烧饭。我现在还会烧饭烧菜，但是当我工作晚的时候，我女儿会烧。当然等她大学开学的时候，我还会继续烧饭烧菜的。Me: What else does your husband do now? Chantel: He will go to the shopping centre to buy food or something, but he normally stays home, and he keeps busy. He watches TV, reads on his phone, and sends messages to the family; he keeps busy. Chantel:他会去购物商店买食物和其他东西，不过他一般会宅在家里让自己保持忙碌。看电视，刷手机，和家人联系。他总是保持忙碌。Me: So do you like it now, you work, and he's staying home?Chantel: Yes, but it isn't easy to wake up early in the morning while he stays in bed, and I have to go. But it works, we can spend time together on weekends. We normally go sightseeing at the weekends. On Friday nights, we decide where to have dinner because we like trying new things. We will go to different places on Saturday’s. Chantel:当然。但是早晨醒来实在太难了，尤其是他还留在床上，而我必须去上班。不过这样也好，周末我们可以在一起玩。我们通常会在周末去观光。周五晚上，我们会决定去哪里吃饭，因为我们喜欢尝试新事物。周六的时候，我们会去不同的地方。Me: It sounds really cool. Is there any secret to managing this?Chantel: You both must agree about it, because if you have a partner that doesn't like sitting back because you will be earning the salary. It will make it difficult because you will become the breadwinner in the house. You need to both work as a team; you both have to agree what is your goal, why are you doing this. In our marriage, I look up to my husband. Although I work now, before that, he’s the one who brought home most of the money. And he’s always looked after us. It’s my turn to return the favour. So if he sends me a link on Taboo, I will buy it for him even if it's a silly thing. It’s kind of my way to say thank you for everything.Chantel: 你和你的伴侣都同意一个决定很重要。如果你有一个合作伙伴，不喜欢赚取工资而他宅家，这将使它变得困难，因为你将成为家里的那个赚钱的。你们双方需要作为一个团队来工作，你们都要同意你们的目标是什么，你们为什么要这样做。在我们的婚姻中，我很欣赏我的丈夫。虽然我现在工作了，但之前是他把大部分的钱带回家。而且他一直在照顾我们 现在轮到我来报答他了。 所以，如果他给我发了一个淘宝的链接，即使是一个愚蠢的东西，我也会给他买。这是一种我的方式说，谢谢你的一切。Me: You know, I just realize this is a love story. Do you have any suggestion for a woman?我：我才发现今天这是一个爱情故事。对女性，你有什么想说的吗？Chantel: Don’t think because you are a woman, you are not capable. Just think and plan, and set realistic goals, and work towards them. Chantel:不要觉得因为你是女性而觉得你做不到。去想去计划，去设置合理的目标，并且为它努力。Me: Do you have any plan now?Chantel: Now, I am also doing my master degree; after that, I will do my PhD. When I am done with that, I don’t know what I am going to do next.Chantel:我现在还在读硕士，等到读完硕士，我打算读个博士。等我读完博士，我也不知道我要做什么了哈哈。I see her courage, independence and wisdom, and the love between her and her husband (who knows I would witness PDA in an interview about IWD). I really agree that the family is a team and the family members fight together. The role you play in your family could totally up to your ability and interest, and what the context is; it is really cool that a woman earns money outside. Man does the housework in-home, but it is also very nice that man works outside and the woman stays in the home. You and your family members must consider the context and your family members’ own will and make the best decision for the moment together. After all, who knows what will happen next? 在她的故事里，我看到了她的勇气、独立和智慧，也看到了她和她老公之间的爱情（谁知道我会在采访中吃狗粮呢）。我很赞同家庭是一个团队，家庭成员一起战斗。你在家庭中扮演什么样的角色，完全可以看你的能力和兴趣，以及当下的情景，女性在外面挣钱，男人在家里做家务很酷。但是男人在外面工作，女人在家里呆着也没问题，重要的是你和你的家庭成员要考虑背景和你的家庭成员自己的意愿，一起做出当下最好的决定。毕竟，谁知道接下来会发生什么呢？
确实，现在我们中的许多人还处于对性别以及家庭分工有些敏感的过渡阶段。但我想在未来性别平等真正成为大家都接受的生活常识与常态，只要处于伴侣状态中的人是感到开心愉快，并且被爱着、被认可关心着的，这就很好了。没有人需要对这些伴侣的选择评头论足。 In fact, many of us are still in a transitional stage where we are somewhat sensitive to gender and labour division in the family. But I think that in the future, when gender equality will become common sense and accepted as new normal in life, as long as those who are in the partnership is happy, loved, recognised and cared for, and that's good. No one shall judge their choice.If you are interested in reading more of her writing, she also wrote something for IWD2020: 三又木分享看过的电影与遇见的人 #EachforEqual （it is also a bilingual article)Hermione edited this post, changed some wording.
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