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妹妹你坐船头，哥哥我在岸上走。我敢保证看这句的99﹪都是唱出来的。 Sister, you take the bow, brother, I walk on the shore. I'm sure 99% of this sentence is sung. 上学吃外卖真的很不健康，建议大家不要上学。 It's really unhealthy to eat takeout at school. I suggest you don't go to school. 青年人的崩溃是从入职开始的，中年人的崩溃是从借钱开始的，老年人的崩溃是从学不会广场舞开始的。 The collapse of young people began with employment, the collapse of middle-aged people began with borrowing money, and the collapse of old people began with learning square dance. 朋友：如果你的女朋友和情人同时掉入水中，你是在找一个丰满型的还是娇小型的？我：还找不会游泳的。 Friend: if your girlfriend and lover fall into the water at the same time, will you find another plump one or a petite one? Me: I can't swim yet. 菜炒咸了，别担心，先放一会儿，因为时间可以冲淡一切。 The dishes are salty. Don't worry. Let them go for a while, because time can dilute everything. “你家乡最美的景色是什么？”“是我” 'What is the most beautiful scenery in your hometown?'“ It's me ' 人生最大的悲哀是青春不再，青春痘却还在。 The greatest sorrow of life is that youth is not there, but acne is still there. 脸皮厚的人 最常说的一句话是 我待你不薄阿。 One of the most common words of thick skinned people is that I treat you well. 从小就有一个敌人叫“别人家的小孩”。他不爱玩游戏，从来就只知道学习。 Since childhood, there has been an enemy called 'other people's children'. He doesn't like playing games and always only knows how to study. 电脑已和我有共同语言了，我每次温柔地看它一眼，它就下意识的死机一次。 The computer has a common language with me. Every time I look at it gently, it crashes subconsciously. 下雪其实没什么，只不过是上帝在撕它的作业罢了。 Snow is nothing, but God is tearing up its homework. 昨天相了两个亲，一个有房但稍微有点矮，一个又高又帅但是没房，我纠结了一晚上，今天介绍人发信息说，两个都没看上我。 Yesterday, I met two relatives. One had a room but was a little short, and the other was tall and handsome but had no room. I struggled all night. Today, the introducer sent a message saying that neither of them liked me. 爱拍照的女生，手机都不会太差。 For girls who love taking pictures, their mobile phones won't be too bad. 想我的时候请我吃东西，我马上到。 Invite me to eat when you miss me. I'll be right there. |
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