【原】找对象先看......缺点？

1. We get a lot of advice about what traits to look for in a partner—honesty, good conflict management, chemistry, similarity. However, we don’t often flip the script and consider what negative traits we are willing to accept and accommodate.

关于寻找伴侣时需要注意什么品质的建议，我们听过很多了——诚实，善于解决冲突，化学反应，志趣相投等等。

2.A few years ago, I read a post about the wisdom of evaluating what types of pain or struggle you endure well. 

几年前，我读到一篇关于评估你能忍受什么样的痛苦或挣扎的智慧的文章。

3.The author highlighted that even the best things in life (traveling, parenting, falling in love) come with costs and challenges. 

作者强调说哪怕人生中最棒的那些事情（旅游，教养子女，恋爱）都会有代价和挑战。

4.He argued that maybe we should focus a little less on what we want out of life and start asking, “What am I willing to struggle for?” 

他认为也许我们应该不要那么关注我们能在人生中得到什么，转而开始问，“我愿意为了什么而奋斗？”

5.When it comes to maintaining long-term romantic relationships, this advice is spot-on.

而说到维持长久的两性关系时，这条建议可以说是神手妙招。

一.Consider How You Feel About Different Aggravations

一.思考一下你对不同的烦恼的感受

6.Even though we tend to focus on seeking good qualities in romantic partners, research suggests that looking at our partners’ faults is smart and productive. 

尽管在找对象时我们往往会关注对方身上的优点，研究表明其实看到对方身上的缺点才是明智而有效的。

7.We know that even the most wonderful people and partners have annoying traits, and they intensify over time. 

我们都知道，哪怕是最棒的人和伴侣身上都有缺点，而这些缺点随着事件推移会越发明显。

8.Maybe your partner is fun but a little unreliable. 

也许你的伴侣很有趣但是不太可靠。

9.Maybe they shut down emotionally when they are angry or sad. 

也许当他们生气或难过的时候会喜欢一个人待着。

10.Maybe they load the dishwasher in a way that makes you want to cry. 

也许他们把碗乱放进洗碗机里让你气的想哭。

11.We all have these traits and so do our partners.

我们身上都有各种缺点，伴侣也不例外。

12.Some of these annoyances are small and others bigger, but their impact is different depending on the personality and individual pet peeves. 

有些缺点很小，有些则更大，但它们的影响之不同取决于我们的个性和个人喜恶。

13.For some people, being with someone who flour-bombs the kitchen because they like making bread is a nightmare. 

对于有些人来说，跟那些因为要做面包而把厨房弄得到处都是面粉的人在一起简直就像噩梦一般。

14.For others, homemade bread is worth the mess, it’s just not a big deal. 

而对其他人来说，家庭自制的面包很棒，弄乱一点也没啥，不算大事。

15.For some people, being emotionally shut out for even a short time triggers panic and distress. 

对有些人来说，伴侣自己一个人安静呆一会儿她们也会感到恐慌和沮丧。

16.Others can do their own thing while their partner works through their feelings and be ready and waiting when they are ready to re-engage.

而其他人在自己的伴侣一个人静静的时候会做些自己的事情，等着他们处理好情绪之后重新恢复交流。

（未完待续。。。）

问题

文中提到寻找伴侣时最应该关注的是什么？

留言回复正确答案，前五名朋友可以获得红包奖励哦，赶快来试试吧！