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世界上有70亿多人，就有70亿多个不同的观点，你无法取悦所有人，不要努力取悦所有人，不要尝试控制别人的想法，而是要搞清楚你的价值观并为之坚持，只要你在努力做对的事情，不管是犯错，当众失败还是被取笑，不要理会观众，任何时候都要完全做自己，你都没什么好失去的。Have you ever lied about an odd hobby you have? Or maybe your job status or your height? Or even just avoided putting yourself in a situation in which you knew you were likely to fail? 你是否曾经就你的一个奇怪爱好撒过谎，或者就你的工作状态或身高撒谎，或者你是否甚至避免让自己陷入一个知道自己可能失败的情景？Why did you do that? Short answer — because you were embarrassed. Embarrassment comes from trying to control how other people perceive you. So instead of just showing the world your nerdy hobby, say, that you collect beanie babies, you go, 'I don't want people to think I'm a dweeb,' and pretend that you don't have one.你为什么会这样做？一个简短的回答就是，因为你尴尬。尴尬是由于想要控制其他人是如何看待你的，所以，你不会向世界展示你奇怪的爱好，比如收藏豆豆布偶。你会想着 “我不想让别人觉得我是个怪人”。然后假装自己并没有这种布偶。The same process plays out with hobbies as it does with mistakes that we've made, areas in which we're weak and areas in which we might get publicly rejected. We hide what we don't want people to know about us. We conform to what other people would like us to be. But it doesn't have to be the answer because there is another more empowering mindset.不仅是在面对兴趣，在面对我们犯过的错误，薄弱的方面，和可能会被大众抨击的方面时，同样的场景也会发生。我们把自己不想被别人知道的东西隐藏起来，我们遵照别人想让我们成为的样子，但答案并非一定如此，因为还存在着另一种更有力的思维方式。Instead of focusing on other people's perceptions and feeling embarrassed about what they may think, focus on whether or not you live up to your own values. For instance, if you do have a killer beanie baby collection, you obviously value something about it — maybe it's the nostalgia or maybe it's just a quirk that started when your grandma gave you one twenty years ago.要关注你是否践行自己的价值观，而不是关注他人的看法，或为他人可能持有的看法感到尴尬。比如，如果你真的收藏杀手豆豆布偶，你显然珍视和豆豆布偶相关的某个东西——或许是怀旧，又或许这只是从你祖母二十年前给你一个布偶开始的怪癖。Either way, if you value your own opinions, you won't try to hide the collection no matter what anyone else thinks of it. Or maybe you have a crush that you're thinking of asking out. Focusing on other people's perceptions of you would stop you dead in your tracks. After all, what if other people found out and laughed at you for getting turned down? But what if you instead focused on your own values like doing the courageous thing or being honest even when it's uncomfortable?不管怎样，如果你珍视自己的看法，不管别人怎么看，你都不会对自己的收藏遮遮掩掩，或者，或许你迷恋上了一个人，你想要邀请这个人约会，关注他人对你的看法会让你陷进死胡同。毕竟，如果别人发现你被拒绝，还笑话你的话要怎么办。但如果你专注自己的价值观，比如说，要做有勇气的事情，或者即使觉得膈应也要诚实，那会怎么样呢？You would ask that person out. Now maybe you'd go on a date, maybe you wouldn't but either way, you'd have lived up to your own values and no matter what anyone else said or did, you could feel proud of yourself. The point is that when you focus on living up to your own values, you never have to feel embarrassed again.你就会把那个人约出来，或许你会去约会，又或许不会去。但不管怎样，你坚持了自己的价值观，而且不管别人说什么或做什么，你都会为自己感到自豪。重点在于，当你关注坚持自己的价值观时，你就再也不必感到尴尬。It doesn't matter whether you trip up an escalator, get fired from a job, beat up in a fight or blown off by a girl or a boy that you like — none of that stuff is pleasant but you don't need the double penalty of being embarrassed by those things. Your attempts to live up to your values are all that matter so take responsibility, try to correct course and move on. And if you have traits that embarrass you whether it's your looks, your height, your age — well, you can't control those things and you can't live up to a value that you can't control.不管是从扶梯上摔下来，被炒鱿鱼，打架输了，还是被喜欢的女生或男生甩掉——这些事情都令人不快。但你不需要承受为此感到尴尬的双倍惩罚，你在尝试坚持你的价值观，这才是最重要的。所以要负起责任，努力拨正航向继续前进，如果你的一些特征让你感到尴尬，不管是你的长相、身高还是年龄，你不能控制那些东西，你也不能践行你无法控制的价值观。So even though you might not like something about yourself, own it. You will immediately feel relieved when you accept yourself the way you are. Now this isn't an excuse to simply give up on improving yourself in the name of self-acceptance. Some things are worth a moment of embarrassment because they remind us that we're not living up to our values. 所以，即使你不喜欢关于自己的某些东西，还是要拥有它。当你接受自己的时候，你会马上感到如释重负，这并不是以接受自我为名义来放弃提升自己的借口。有些东西是值得我们一时感到尴尬的，因为这些东西在提醒我们，我们并没有坚持自己的价值观。So in the case of maybe having fallen out of shape, a moment of embarrassment is worth it to get you back to a healthy lifestyle or a moment of embarrassment in saying your job title can be worth it if it inspires you to hustle to land your dream job. The point is to get clear on your values then live in line with them. Let other people's perception of you fade into background noise. 所以，或许当面对身材走样时，一时感到尴尬是值得的，能让你回归健康的生活方式，或者，谈到你的职位时一时感到尴尬，能鼓励你努力得到梦想中的工作。重点在于明确你的价值观，并遵照价值观生活，要让其他人对你的看法渐渐融入背景噪音中。Now this doesn't mean you ignore other people completely to the point of becoming a self-absorbed jerk. For instance, if one of your values is to be kind and you keep getting feedback that you're hurting people's feelings, you probably need to make an adjustment. But just remember there are 7 billion people with 7 billion different opinions — you cannot please them all.这不意味着你要完全无视他人，最终变成一个专注自我的笨蛋。比如，如果你的价值观之一是要善良，而你一直得到反馈说你伤害了他人的感受，或许你就需要做出调整。但要记住，世界上有70亿人，有70亿个不同的观点，你无法取悦所有人。So when you take feedback from others, focus on doing the right thing rather than the thing that pleases everyone else. In short, stop trying to be okay by everyone. Stop trying to control the opinions of strangers. Instead, figure out your values and live by them. Be your unadulterated self all the time regardless of the audience. Make mistakes, fail publicly, get laughed at — you've got nothing to lose and as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you've got no reason to ever feel bad about it.所以，当你从他人处得到反馈时，重点是要做正确的事情，而非做取悦其他所有人的事情。总之，不要再努力取悦所有人，不要再控制陌生人的看法，取而代之的是，要搞清楚你的价值观并为之坚持，不要理会观众，任何时候都要完全做自己，不管是犯错，当众失败还是被取笑，你都没什么好失去的。只要你在努力做对的事情，就没必要为此感到不快。Own your screw-ups, your weirdness, your unpopular actions, and you're free. Hope you enjoyed that video and if you did like it and you want to see more videos like this one, make sure to go ahead and hit the subscribe button now. You get more videos every week on how to be a most confident and charismatic self plus hit that little bell button if you want to make sure to see us on the homepage cause YouTube requires that now.承认自己的一团糟、自己的奇怪、不受欢迎的举动，你就是自由的。希望你们喜欢这个视频。如果你们喜欢或者想看更多类似的视频，记得点击关注ONE字幕组。每周你们都会看到关于如何能充满自信和魅力的视频。另外，如果你想在首页看到我们的频道，请点击小铃铛按钮，因为这是YouTube要求这么做的。If you have any suggestions of things that you like to see in the future, write them in the comments and as always, I look forward to seeing you in the next video. 本期主创团：
翻译：AL 责任编辑：Leon Yong
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