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“你公众号写的东西在我看来就是垃圾”

 张海露Eric 2022-03-30

曾有位编剧朋友当面跟我说:我看过你公众号写的东西,在我们专业人士看来就是垃圾,你不会真觉得你写得还不错吧?

被人说这样评价,第一感觉脸上火辣辣的。第二反应是从他的角度看确实有道理——我的文字全是大白话,句法不规范,常有语病,选题和立意也不讲究。出于礼貌,我说你说的对。

然后心理默念一句「去你妈的」。

什么是写得好?写作的意义是什么?

写作是主动面对、暴露自己,能公开分享自己的文字本身就已经很勇敢。8 年来我用文字记录学习和生活,想得更清楚,活得更自由,从写作中收获了极大的快乐。


话虽如此,把我的「记录」称为「写作」,我还是会有耻感。虽然一直在写东西,也出过书,但我总觉得自己写的东西拿不出手——不过是一些碎碎念、小聪明。

最近读了本经典写作指南,Natalia Goldberg 的 Writing Down the Bones。在书中我找到了鼓励和信心。

作者 Natalie 从小是「应试作文」高手,她知道老师们喜欢什么样的文章。她热爱文学,饱肚诗书,但对写作心存敬畏,觉得那些文学创作只可远观不可亵玩。大学毕业后她和朋友一起开了个饭馆,偶然机会她读到一首烹煮茄子的小诗,她惊奇不已:这也能写成诗?日常生活也值得书写?


A synapse connected in my brain. I went home with the resolve to write what I knew and to trust my own thoughts and feelings and to not look outside myself. I was not in school anymore: I could say what I wanted.

从此她开始写作。后来还成了「写作教练」,在全美巡回教授写作课程。写作让她找到自己,也能够超越自己,她说:Wtiting is my deepest Zen practice.

这本 Writing Down the Bones 不是讲「英文写作」技巧,而是讲通用的写作理念。表面是写作秘笈,实际是修行指南。它让我一下想到村上春树的 What I Talk About When I Talk About Running、Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 的 Flow 和 Eckhart Tolle 的 The Power of Now。全书风格是随笔,独立成章,每章只有 2-3 页,很好读。

This book is about writing. It is also about using writing as your practice, as a way to help you penetrate your life and become sane. What is said here about writing can be applied to running, painting, anything you love and have chosen to work within your life.


阅读中,每隔几页我就被鼓励到,恨不得能跟作者一个拥抱。

比如:

- If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you.

- Allow yourself to be awkward. You are stripping yourself. You are exposing your life, not how your ego would like to see you represented, but how you are as a human being. And it is because of this that I think writing is religious. It splits you open and softens your heart toward the homely world.

Writing is 100% listening. You listen so deeply to the space around you that it fills you, and when you write, it pours out of you. if you can capture that reality around you, your writing needs nothing else.

Writers live twice. They go along with their regular life, are as fas as anyone in the grocery store, crossing the street, getting dressed for work in the morning. But there's another part of them that they have been training. The one that lives every second at a time. That sits down and sees their life again and goes over it. Looks at the texture and details.

读完这几句节选,有没有想立刻写点什么的冲动?

作者自己是过来人,深知写作之难。她没有高谈阔论,而是给我们一些小建议和提醒,鼓励我们用写作记录、表达感受,用写作修行。

以下是我印象深刻的几处,也分享给你。

1.

Learning to write is not a linear process. There is no logical A-to-B-to-C way to become a good writer. One neat truth about writing cannot answer it all. There are many truths.

写作要反复推敲,也要想到什么就写什么;写作需要安静,也需要走出门外在嘈杂中码字。不同做法有不同目的,本质上并无对错。

学英语也是如此,市面上有无数学习方法,不需要纠结对错。别死心眼,别做任何人的脑残粉。感兴趣就去试一试,方法是死的,人是活的。

2.

- Lose control. Don’t think, don’t get logical. Go for the jugular.

写作需要主动「失控」,接受胡思乱想,不知道该写什么那就把脑中出现的一切先写下来。


给自己设定时间(比如 5-10 分钟),然后不停地写——不想措辞、不用检查、无需注意标点/拼写/语法。这时你会觉得心烦意乱、思绪完千,没关系,写下去。别想着什么金句、内容有多少价值、有多少人阅读。这不是这个阶段该操心的事。只有主动 lose control 我们才能开始写作,这个道理放在生活中也适用:

To be alive, we have to deal with a loss of control. Falling in love is a loss of control. When we die or someone we love dies, it's a tremendous loss of control. And what's nice about writing practice is it's a measured way to dip yourself into that huge vast emptiness, that loss of control, and then pull yourself out so you can feel safe again.

3. 

- When you write, don’t say, “I’m going to write a poem.” That attitude will freeze you right away. Sit down with the least expectation of yourself; say, “I’m free to write the worst junk in the world.” You have to give yourself the space to write a lot without a destination.

别急。降低期待,把写作当修行。写作需要必要时间和练习,别指望自己一开始就能「写好」。写多了自然会有进步,在没有足够的大量练习前,别用不切实际的标准让自己难受。

你总说自己英语不好,仔细算算你在英语这件事上具体花了多长功夫?总说自己写作不好,朋友圈都算上,这个月一共写了多少字?

所有的借口都是没那么在乎。《月亮与六便士》中 Charles Strickland 说「我必须画画就像溺水的人必须挣扎」,如果真的想做一件事,拦不住的。也别拿天赋说事,作者说她就没什么天赋,我们能做的事用努力解锁自己的各种潜能——“It’s pretty nice to be talented. If you are, enjoy, but it won’t take you that far. Work takes you a lot further.”

从这个角度看,最重要的并不是写出什么作品,而是训练过程。赢得了天下又如何?有多少人靠抄袭、洗稿获得了名利,那又如何?


One of the main aims in writing practice is to learn to trust your own mind and body; to grow patient and nonaggressive... One poem or story doesn’t matter one way or the other. It’s the process of writing and life that matters.

4. We are not the poem.

写作的自由来自专注此刻的感受,而不是总想着「希望在别人眼中呈现的样子」。


我们写下的内容也只是那一刻的自己,别怕「黑历史」和「打脸」,那都是我们有过的样子,但不要让它们定义自己。

5. Say yes to life. Caress the divine details.

最近我喜欢上摄影,读到这一段感同身受。

写作可以让我们换一个角度看世界,把细节放大,让时光倒流。如果我们停下来观察这个世界,会发现再熟悉的场景也有迷人的细节。当我们感到无聊,试着用写作观察这份无聊——别记着贴标签、划分界限,say yes,感受每一个环境和情绪。

Give me your morning. Breakfast, waking up, walking to the bus stop. Be as specific as possible. Slow down in your mind and go over the details of the morning.

以上就是我的几点书摘和心得。这本书是我 3 月读书里最爱的一本,它带给了我无限温暖和鼓励,希望它也能帮到你。

Writing is everything, unconditional. There is no separation between writing, life, and the mind. 

不需要任何人认可,不需要公开发表过诗歌小说。你我生来就是 writer。开始写作吧。生命如此值得记录,我们可以更自由。Say yes to life and free the writer within.

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