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双语 | 分手是痛苦的:心碎之后,这些问题是你要反问自己的

 我的学校西亚斯 2022-11-11 发布于北京
  • 分手可能是毁灭性的,甚至会对身体和心理都产生影响。
  • 但是,过一段时间后,就可以充分利用这种令人心碎的感觉,做更好的自己。
  • 考虑一下在这段关系中您学到了什么,是不是有的事情其实可以做的更好。
  • 访问Business Insider的主页以获取更多故事。

你可能无法想象一个伤害你的人其实是在人生路上给了你帮助-当然他们用了一些他们自己的方式给了你帮助。

有些最美的歌曲和诗歌是在心碎的时候写出来的,很多人在处理一段感情遗失时写下他们内心最真实的想法。分手让你心碎, 也给了你很多灵感。 让自己能够有更多空闲时间去品尝心碎的滋味。

分手对身体和情感都是毁灭性的,因为爱情是全部。这不可能,这就是爱。分手标志着一个人生阶段的终结。它们意味着你曾经熟悉的生活不复存在。这是痛苦的。当它发生的时候,你会觉得没有别的东西值得你活下去——至少我心碎的时候是这样的感觉。

心碎不仅仅是一种精神状态。注册临床社会工作者珍妮弗·科尔曼告诉《健康在线》,在应对分手时,人们可能会出现食欲改变、头痛、身体疼痛和整体不适等身体症状。

那么,心碎这个感受对身体的副作用是怎样产生的呢?哥伦比亚大学的神经学家爱德华·史密斯(及其同事)在2011年进行的一项研究解释了这种心碎现象。通过对那些在过去六个月内结束一段关系的参与者进行fMRI扫描,结果表明,当涉及到大脑如何感知他们时,身体上的疼痛和浪漫关系的结束是相关的。当参与者看到他们前伴侣的照片时和当我们感到身体疼痛时,扫描显示大脑同一区域会活跃起来。

一颗破碎的心会让我们处于防御模式,这是完全合理的。毕竟,大脑告诉我们,分手后的痛苦并不只存在于大脑中。这更证明了一点,当我们试图应付一段浪漫关系结束时,我们必须对自己更温和,更加有耐心。

在心碎最难过的时候,我试着读有关“分手后如何继续生活”的励志名言和励志故事,但我看不到一线希望——伤口还没愈合。

1850年,阿尔弗雷德·丁尼生写道:“宁可曾经爱过而失败,也不要从来未曾有过一次爱。”这是一首很受欢迎的诗,它让心碎的人产生了一个问题:曾经爱过又失去,真的比从未爱过更好吗?

  • Breakups can be devastating - and can even have physical effects.
  • But after enough time has passed, that heartbreak can be put to good use.
  • Think about what you learned during the relationship, what you could have done better, and how you changed for the better.
  • Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

It might be impossible to think that someone who has broken your heart has helped you in your journey - but in their own way, they have. 

There is a reason some of the most beautiful songs and pieces of poetry are written in times of heartbreak, and why so many people write their most inner thoughts while dealing with the loss of a relationship. Heartbreak is life altering. Breakups open your soul, split you in two, and leave you in a state of overwhelming nothingness. Voluminous vacancy. Deafening silence.

Breakups are physically and emotionally devastating because love is all-consuming. It can't not be  -  it's love. Breakups mark the end of an era. They signify that the life you once knew is no more. And it's agonizing. When it happens, you feel like there is nothing else to live for  -  at least, that's how I've felt when I've had my heart broken.

Heartbreak is not just a state of mind. When coping with a breakup, people may experience physical symptoms like a change in appetite, headaches, body pains, and an overall sense of unwell, Jennifer Kelman, licensed clinical social worker, told Healthline.

So how are the physical side effects of a broken heart possible? A 2011 study conducted by neuroscientist Edward Smith (and colleagues) at Columbia University explains the heartbreak phenomenon. By using fMRI scans of participants who had ended a relationship within the last six months, results demonstrated that physical pain and the end of romantic relationships are related when it comes to how the brain perceives them. When participants were shown a picture of their former partner, scans of the brain showed activity in the same area that lights up when we are in physical pain. 

Knowing this, it makes perfect sense that a broken heart can put us in defense mode. The brain is, after all, telling us that the pain we feel after a breakup is not just in our heads. It is absolutely warranted, which proves the point even more that we must be gracious and patient with ourselves when trying to cope with the end of a romantic relationship.

While in the deepest and lowest points of heartbreak, I've tried to read motivational quotes and inspirational stories about "moving on after a breakup," and I haven't been able to see the silver lining  -  not while the wound is still fresh.

In 1850, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." It's a popular piece of poetry for a reason, and it raises the question among the heartbroken: Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? 

声明:本文由微软资讯(Microsoft News )内容合作伙伴授权发布,内容观点谨代表作者本人意见,与微软资讯(Microsoft News)及微软无关。

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