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My Support System In celebration of Women's Day I was thinking about what it is to be a woman and the women in my life.And today I wanted to celebrate three girls that happened to be my best friends and my support system. I’ll list them in chronological order as they appeared in my life although they all hold a special place in my heart that cannot be measured by numbers.  Pic/Helen YaThe first one I met when I had no friends and was going through a difficult time with my husband. She is one of those people that you meet, instantly become very close friends with, and forget that you just met. When I think about her now, I struggle to recall when was the first time we met, it always seems to me that I have known her for all my life. It was like we met our own reflection in each other. We were both having similar troubles with our husbands, both exhausted by home and young children without any family around, away from home, in all the COVID chaos. For more than a year we couldn’t have a normal conversation for longer than a few minutes without our children interrupting us. And then one day we met without children and it felt so strange to be able to talk quietly and uninterrupted. She is one of those friends who when invites you cooks a lot of good food and even sends some of it with you, and you can’t say no to her no matter how hard you try.Even though the food she cooks is a bit different from what I am used to, somehow it always tastes like home to me. I feel like I am home when I am with her. She is very generous, selfless, humble, kind, loving, resilient, extremely smart, and funny, and can find something to laugh about in any situation. Unless her heart gets broken. Usually by her husband and being helpless. And then she cries and even apologizes for crying and allowing herself to be weak. And each time it breaks my heart too. I love her so much and wish there was something I could do to make it easier for her.  Pic/Helen YaThe second girl is the one I met “accidentally” through a wechat group. She was and is an expert at sustainability and zero waste life. I was so impressed by her ideas that I went to her house to meet her and talk about living sustainably. Instead, we met and talked about personal lives for hours.))))) Again, it’s been like we have been friends forever. And she was like a mirror reflection of another part of my life I hadn’t noticed before. We grew up in different cultures, had different backgrounds, and had more or less different lives, but arrived at the same point of life at similar time with similar reflections and conclusions. How is that even possible? She is an amazing piano player and a teacher, although she never plays for me when I visit her. I wish she did. She is highly intelligent, a fantastic listener who is always present and listens with all her heart, and she always gives the best advice and takes the best photos of me. I think she is incapable of being judgemental and it is from her that I learn to be a curious, open-minded, and non-judgmental listener. She is very humble, creative, understanding, strong, and never gives up. She makes it so easy for me to be myself when I am with her. She, like me, doesn’t like things, and always forbids me to bring any presents or food for her. Her house is lovely, full of life and things that were chosen very carefully and mindfully instead of just randomly bought or brought over by someone. She is a great inspiration for me to live mindfully and to pay attention to all the things I buy, use, and get rid of. Her image comes up in my mind when I make an unsustainable choice. And I try to make a better one because I want her to be proud of me.  Pic/Helen YaThe third girl appeared magically in my life as well. To be honest I met her earlier than my other two friends, I was her son’s teacher. But it wasn’t until a few months ago that we became really good friends. Before her I was praying and dreaming of having a friend near where I live. All my other friends live quite far from me and we don’t see each other very often. So, one day we meet and discover we have so much in common. We are both parents, both into education, mental health, self-development, art, mindfulness, writing, spirituality and what not.She was like another big piece of myself that I stumbled upon and immediately loved. She is an angel who listens to everything I say with her huge heart and wide-open eyes like a child.She is so sincere and pure-hearted that she misses jokes when we call and she can’t see my quietly smiling face. She is very sensitive and doesn’t accept fake feelings and thoughts. She is very open-minded, sweet, kind and feminine but also feisty and not afraid of getting angry. She can be naughty and extremely funny too. And I love it about her! She is one of my biggest supporters and always helps me digest some of my most difficult, embarrassing, and annoying feelings. I am always afraid she will get overwhelmed by me and my feelings and stories and will stop being my friend. But she didn’t so far, I feel like she is my safe space. It’s with her that I have some of the best ideas of my life and I can never wait to share them with her.It is she who highlights my strengths and guides me to the next step. She is deeply spiritual and so good to her very core; she always encourages me to help others. Although I met her in my thirties, I feel like she is my childhood friend, someone you trust more than yourself. With her I feel like I am a teenager again and I can relive the best moments of that time.  Pic/Helen YaI am so grateful to have these wonderful women in my life and to be able to learn all their goodness from them. They make the world so much brighter and warmer just by being who they are. There are many more women that make the world better. We invite you to notice and celebrate them! Happy Women’s Day to all girls and women of the world! |
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