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第一部分：真题解析
08年太原市中考题书面表达二（10分） After three years’ staying together, you will say goodbye to your teachers soon. You must have much to say to your teachers. We want to know: ·what you want to say to your English teacher most; ·why you want to say so; ·what you want to tell her about your future plan. 要求：1. 词数60－80。 2. 不要出现真实的人名和校名。 Dear Miss Guo, _________________________________________________________ Yours, Zhang Xu 解析： 首先，审题。本题的题干都是英文，分为两部分：题目的引子，即在一起学习了三年后，你很快就要向老师说再见了，你肯定有许多话想向老师说；然后提出了本题的内容，即We want to know后列举了三方面的要求：你最想向英语老师说什么；为什么想说这些；关于你将来的计划。 第二，确定文体和时态。根据上面的内容分析，可以确定这是一篇以记叙为主的文章，里面的时态要根据具体的事件来确定。可能会用到一般现在时、一般过去时和一般将来时等。 第三，列出文章的框架、提纲。先总述：三年的时光很快过去了，马上要和老师分别了。然后按照题目要求的三方面的内容进行分述，最后小结。 第四，遣词造句，形成文章。注意适当运用关联词，使文章通顺、连贯。 例文一 How time flies! We must say goodbye soon. At the moment I want to say “thank you” most. I remember the many days that we were together. When I was in Grade 7, I had difficulties in learning English. You often encouraged me and taught me to read after class. You gave me much help with my study in English. And in my heart, I treat you as my family member. I want to go to Beijing University one day, I’ll study harder and get better grades. I hope you can be proud of me. 点评： 作者能够按照要求，围绕提示要点进行写作，并且进行了适当发挥，内容充实。运用了丰富的语言结构，用词准确、句子通顺、行文连贯、表达清楚，实为一篇优秀的书面表达，体现了作者较强的语言应用能力。 得分：10分 例文二 In my heart, you are a kind teacher. I really love you, but I will go to a new school. I have much to say to you. First, do you know your love helps me become a good student? I remember I’m a very shy student, so I don’t want to talk with other student. You talk to me: “you are a good student, so you should talk with other student, they will love you, you should remind that the more you chat with people, the more you learn.” To my surprise, this changed my life. I really become a good student. So, I want to thank your love. Next, I want to tell you about my future plan. I will study hard and chat with more people. 点评： 本篇文章包含了所有要点，作者也有一定的发挥，内容较丰富。但文章层次欠分明，在表达要点的时候不够直截了当。比如第一个要点是你最想对英语老师说什么，作者用了不少的篇幅却没有明确的回答。另外，有一些语言运用的错误，如：other student应改为other students; thank your love应改为thank you for your love等。 得分：8分 第二部分：模拟训练 (一) 教师节就要到了。请给你的小学英语老师写一封信，向她介绍你的近况，感谢她对你的教导并致以节日的祝福。要求语言连贯、条理清楚，不少于80词。注意不要出现真实的人名和校名。 Dear Miss Han, ________________________________________________________ Yours, Li Lin 解析： 第一，仔细审题，这篇书面表达设计了一个情境，即教师节即将到来，让你给小学的英语教师写一封信。 第二，分析题目要求，明确主要内容。题干中提到了两点：一是向老师介绍你的近况；二是感谢教师的教导并致以节日的祝福。这也是文章中需重点阐述的内容。 第三，列出提纲和所要用到的短语、句型。如描写自己近况的：taller, do well in; 感谢教师教导的句型Thank you for...等。 第四，根据提纲，形成篇章。注意要紧扣主题进行写作。 第五，通读文章，检查润色。 参考范文： How are you? It’s about three years since I left the primary school. I miss you very much. Now I’m in Grade 9. I’m much taller than before. I do well in my lessons, especially in English. I want to thank you for helping me with my English studies. When I began to study English, I was so shy I was afraid of speaking. You were very patient and you encouraged me all the time. Now I’m making great progress. I’m really grateful to you. Teachers’ Day is coming. I wish you all the best in your future. （二） 金秋九月，是收获的季节。在这美好的日子里，迎来了我们辛勤园丁的节日－教师节。《二十一世纪学生英文报Teens》将要举行主题为“感谢师恩”的征稿活动，请你根据以下问题提示，写一篇英语短文，参加该项活动。 提示： 1. Which teacher are you going to write about? Introduce him/her. 2. Is there anything memorable between your teacher and you? What is it? 3. How do you feel about your teacher? 要求： 1. 语意连贯，条理清楚，句式规范，书写工整。 2. 不少于80词。 解析： 第一，审题。本题题干分为三部分：汉语的引子设定报纸征文的情境，并且给出了本文的主题：感谢师恩，后面是英文的问题提示和写作要求。 第二，确定文体和时态。根据提示中的三个问题，可以看出这是一篇记叙文，需要介绍你的老师并且记叙你们之间难忘的事情，会用到一般过去时、一般现在时等时态。 第三，列出提纲和可能用到的短语、句型。比如要写的是李老师，可以列出 Miss Li, 30-year-old woman, good-looking等等。 第四，斟酌词句，形成篇章。要注意主题突出，用词准确。 第五，检查润色，使文章连贯、主题明确、语言优美、条理清晰。 参考范文： Miss Li is my Chinese teacher. She is 30 years old. She is good-looking and always kind to us. Miss Li not only cares about our learning, but also our health. Once I hurt my foot on the way to school. I called her and told her what had happened. Miss Li came immediately. It was not very serious and she said she didn’t want me to miss any lessons. So she carried me on her back to school! I was so moved that I couldn’t keep back the tears. What a great teacher! |
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