Sexual Addiction 12 Step Meeting Information

Talkcure 2012-03-20

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Sex Addiction Definitions and 12-Step Resources Guide

By Sharon O'Hara, LMFT

So how might you tell if your compulsive sexual behavior is really a problem?

The basic definition is as follows: You may be a sex addict if you are engaging in one or more repetitive sexual behaviors which interfere with healthy living and result in significant stress to both you and your partner or other family members.

Or see if you can answer yes to more than one of the following questions:

As a recovering addict, have you been unable to remain sober from drugs and alcohol related to your sexual behaviors or romantic entanglements?
Do you spend long hours on the computer downloading pornographic images or interacting in chat rooms while neglecting your job and family?
Do you experience extreme anxiety or panic responses related to sexual behavior?
Have you ever risked your right to practice as a professional due to your sexual behavior?
Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
Do you have shameful sexual secrets you tell no one about?
Have you made repeated attempts in therapy or support groups to control your sexual behavior, only to find yourself stuck in self-destructive patterns?
Do you feel extremely depressed or hopeless because of efforts to break away from a pattern of compulsive romantic relationships?
Have you ever exposed yourself in public, or engaged in a pattern of secretly looking in people’s windows?
Have you ever been so obsessed with a person that you found yourself committing stalking behaviors?

OK, you say, so maybe I have a problem. I might even be willing to go to a sex addict 12-Step meeting. But why are there are so many different meetings, and how do I find out: Which 12-Step groups might be the best for me (or my partner)?

Approximately 20 years ago a number of people in different areas of the country had the same idea at roughly the same time, namely: "My sexual behaviors are out of control, and I wish there were some 12-Step meetings like AA where I could go for sexual recovery. I know, I’ll just start one!"

This explains why we now have 5 separate 12-Step group programs for sex addicts (SA, SAA, SLAA, SCA, SRA). There are 3 organizations for partners of sex addicts (S-Anon, COSA, Co-SLAA), two for couples (RCA, SA-Couples), and one for sex workers, all with different meeting lists. The following is a guide for making your way through the thicket of possible resources.

SA—Sexaholics Anonymous (Website: http://www./). This 12-Step program is the strictest in its definition of sexual sobriety. Masturbation is discouraged, as is homosexual sex. Sobriety is defined as "No sexual behavior outside of a committed marital relationship between a man and a woman." Members are primarily heterosexual men, along with some heterosexual women. Sexual offenders often discover that the strict boundaries of SA are helpful for their recovery.

SA is most popular in Southern California and throughout the southern United States. Lists of meetings and other information may be obtained by contacting: