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写出英语美文:好的句子

2013-04-09  小林个人...
    很多次当我看见native speaker的美文时,都忍不住在欣赏的同时暗暗揣摩他们的构思、文法和谴词造句的功底,譬如J.K Rowling笔下的人物一个个都如此栩栩如生,她用词千变万化,引人入胜。那么,是不是我们就无法达到这样的境界呢?答案当然是否定的拉!我曾看过一篇某高校非英语专业学生的文章,文笔和意境都让我自叹不如,汗。。。 所以只要下了工夫,用心钻研,一定是会有回报的哦!我相信通过日积月累的不断学习,大家都能用英语写出让老外惊羡的漂亮文章!!那么就让我们从最简单的开始,共同学习北外前辈们的智慧成果吧:

  第一期:完整句和不完整句

  一个语法结构完整的句子至少有一个主语和一个谓语动词;如果是及物动词,还得有一个宾语;如果是系动词,则必须有一个表语或补语。如:
     He won. I owe you. John is late. 

    定语和状语虽不是句子中不可缺少的成分,但有助于表达清楚或完整的意思。如: 
     He won an easy victory. I owe you $50. John is late again.   

    需要注意的是:一个完整的句子以大写字母开始,以句号结束。写英文时用逗号代替句号、分号、冒号或破折号叫“逗号错”,这正是中国学生所要避免的。请比较下列例句: 
    误:It was raining hard, they could not work in the fields. 
    正:It was raining hard; they could not work in the fields. 
        It was raining hard. They could not work in the fields. 
        It was raining so hard that they could not work in the fields. 
        They could not work in the fields because it was raining hard. 
        It was raining hard, so they could not work in the fields. 
        As it was raining hard, they could not work in the fields. 
    误:The essay is poorly organized, there is no central idea. 
    正:The essay is poorly organized; there is no central idea. 
        The essay is poorly organized: there is no central idea.


    第二期:句子的类型

    1.陈述句、疑问句、祈使句和感叹句   
      就用意来分,句子有陈述句、疑问句、祈使句和感叹句四种。

    2.简单句、并列句、复合句和并列复合句   
      句子按结构划分有简单句、并列句、复合句和并列复合句。其中,
      复合句包括一个主句和一个或更多的从句,并用连词来表明他们之间的关系。
      短的简单句常用来表达需要强调的重要意思。
      长的复合句由于可以容纳多种修饰语而能清楚而准确地表达复杂的意思。其他的在此不做复赘。 

    3.松散句、圆周句和对偶句   
      从修辞的角度看,句子有松散句、圆周句和对偶句之分。
      松散句把主要意思放在次要意思之前,先说最重要的事情,因而读者在看到最初的几个词后就知道这句话的意思。
      圆周句的安排则相反:把最重要的意思放到最后面,并且直到最后一个词时句子的结构才完整。读者只有看完整句话才知道它说什么。
      试比较: She decided to study English though she was interested in music.(松散句) 
               Although she was interested in music, she finally decided to study English.(圆周句) 
      请看: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. ——Jane Austen 这是《傲慢与偏见》的第一句话。它明显是个圆周句,因为它的结构和意思在最后一个词之前都不完整。这种结构形成意思上的高潮,最后一个词是最重要的词,同时由于在这之前堆积了很多词,高潮因而很强烈。 归纳:松散句比较明白、简单、自然和直接;圆周句比较复杂、着重、正式和文雅。 
      两个结构相似但是意思相反的平行从句便是对偶句。 
      In Plato’s opinion man was made for philosophy; in Bacon’s opinion philosophy was made for man. ——Thomas Babington Macaulay       对偶句会给人留下深刻的印象,且声调和节奏优美。对偶句主要用于说明文、辩论文和演说等正式文体中。 

      4.短句和长句   
        短句一般语气重;长句则适宜于准确表达复杂的思想,因为它含有很多修饰语。
        短句可陈述重要的事实和想法;长句则可解释观点和理论或描写有很多细节的事物。   

      我们如上讨论了各种句子的结构,基本原则是结构应与要表达的思想相符。换句话说,思想决定结构的选择,而不是反过来。 
      今天请大家按照提示改变以下句子的结构: 
      1.On hearing the news, he was angered. On hearing the news, I was saddened. (请将两句话合并成一句对偶句) 
      2.The surgeon still keeps trying to rescue the patient though there is no quietus(生命迹象) left on him.(请将此松散句改为圆周句) 
      
      Tips:写文章时应注意句子类型的多样化。这样文章中的句子长短错落有致,更能吸引读者的目光。

      
      第三期:好的句子 I

      1.完整 
        完整是好句子的第一要点。一个完整的句子表达单一的完整的思想,它不包含并不紧密相关的意思,也不表达本身不完整的思想。 
        Faulty: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets. 
        Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Period. 
        第一句话有毛病,因为所表达的思想并不完整:时代和国家都没有提到。 加了the Tang Period句子的意思就清楚了:我们都知道唐是中国历史上的一个朝代。 

      2.连贯 
        连贯是指句子各部分之间清楚而合理的联系。句子中的词语和部分应恰当地衔接,它们之间的关系应十分清楚。
        不连贯的句子通常有以下几种毛病:平行结构有缺点,代词指代不清楚,修饰语和被修饰语的关系不明确,在人称、数、语态、时态或语气上有混乱之处。 
        Faulty: A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds. 
        Revised: A man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does. 
                 A man is judged not only by his words but also by his deeds. 
        平行的意思最好用平行的结构来表达。此句中的what he says与his deeds在形式上不平行,所以应改动其中之一。 
        Faulty: To get ready for the trip, all the things she needed were put into a suitcase. 
        Revised: To get ready for the trip, she put all the things she needed into a suitcase. 此句中有所谓的“悬垂”修饰语(To get…)。它与所要修饰的名词或代词没有结构上的联系。那个名词或代词有时甚至不在句中;即使在句中,也不应被现有的修饰语所修饰。因为用了“悬垂”修饰语,这种句子就缺少连贯性,也就让人难以理解了。 
        Faulty: The idea he mentioned at first sounded good. 
        Revised: The idea he first mentioned sounded good. 
                 The idea he mentioned sounded good at first. 
        此句中的at first即可修饰mentioned,又可修饰sounded,这种摸棱两可的修饰应该避免。 

        这期的作业: 1.请改正以下病句: ·Faulty: We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman. ·Faulty: He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious. 参考答案: 1. We thought she was charming, intelligent, and very capable. We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman. 2. He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly hurt.


        第四期:好的句子II 

        3.简洁   
          句中不应有任何不必要的词。只要意思充分地表达了,用的词越少越好。用词过多只会使意思模糊,而不是更清晰。所以最好在写完一篇文章后,仔细检查一两遍,删去一些不必要的词。
          试比较: 
          Wordy: It was blue in color. It was small in size. Mary is a quiet and careful woman. He returned in the early part of the month of August. 
          Concise: It was blue. It was small. Mary is quiet and careful. He returned in the early August. 

          重复有时可加重语气,但不必要的重复,不管是重复相同的词或是重复相同意思的不同的词都应该避免。 
          Wordy: He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing. 
          Concise: He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them were convincing. 

          有时为了简洁起见,需要改变句子结构: 
          Wordy: There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it. 
          Concise: The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it. The giant pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it.   

          以上例子证明有时从句可以压缩为短语,短语可以压缩为单词而不改变原来的意思。也证明两个句子有时可以合并,把表达次要意思的句子改为分词短语、定语从句或别的形式。 

          这期的作业: 1.Wordy: In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible. (请删去重复词语) 2.Wordy: Mr. Smith usually likes to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.(请改变句子结构) 3.以上两句各有两种修改方法,请大家开动脑筋想一想哦! Today’s recommend: (请大家欣赏!) He crouched a little, spreading his hands under the water and moving them round, trying to feel for her. The dead cold pond swayed upon his chest. He moved again, a little, and again, with his hands underneath, he felt all around under the water. And he touched her clothing. But it evaded his fingers. He made a desperate effort to grasp it… He laid her down on the bank. She was quite unconscious and running with water. He made the water come from her mouth, he worked to restore her. He did not have to work very long before he could feel the breathing begin again in her; she was breathing naturally. He worked a little longer. He could feel her live beneath his hands; she was coming back. He wiped her face, wrapped her in his overcoat, looked round into the dim, dark gray world, then lifted her and staggered down the bank and across the fields. ——D.H.Lawrence 文中的许多短句生动地描写了那个男人的快速动作,从而使读者感受到他那时的紧张心情。 1.Concise: In my opinion, your plan is feasible./I think your plan is feasible. 2.Concise: Mr. Smith prefers wines produced in France./ Mr. Smith prefers French wines.


        第五期:好的句子III 

        4.强调 
          凡是重要的意思都应该予以强调。写文章时可以有以下几种方式: 
         (1) 整句强调 文章中有的句子可能比别的句子更重要,因为它表达了更为重要的意思。
               下面是些强调整句的方法: 
               短句:前面已经提到短句比长句更为有力,尤其是在一段的开头、结尾或在长句之中。 
               不完整句:也叫单一成分句,因为只有少数几个词表达主要意思而起到强调的作用。 The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day. 
               倒装句:它们不同寻常的语序会吸引读者的注意: In rushed the noisy children. The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life. 
               平行结构和对称句:例句见第二期“句子的类型”。 
               圆周句:它们向高潮发展的句式起到了强调的作用,例句见第二期“句子的类型”。 
               祈使句和感叹句:祈使和感叹的语气自然使句子得到强调。 Don’t move! How nice! 
               修辞问句或反问句:它们在形式上是问句,意思上却是强调的陈述。 Didn’t I tell you that you mustn’t touch this machine? Can anyone believe his explanation? 
               否定肯定陈述句:这种句子先指出不是什么,然后指出是什么,对比使之得到强调。 The delegates shouted and quarreled. It was not a meeting; it was a farce. 
               重复词或短语的句子:重复加强了语气。 Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth. ——Abraham Lincoln 

        (2) 句内强调 句中的某个词语或短语有时应该得到强调,因为那是全句主要意思之所在。可以有多种办法做到这一点。 
              位置:一句的开头和结尾,尤其是结尾,最能引起读者的注意。重要的词,如可能,应放在这两个位置。
              试比较: There is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old, in the temple. 
                       In the temple there is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old. 
                       There have been many great discoveries made by scientists in the 20th century. 
                       Many great discoveries have been made by scientists in the 20th century. 
                       In the 20th century scientists have made many great discoveries. 

              重复:不必要的重复并不增加任何意见,因而应该避免。但有时在适当上下文中重复一个词,或用不同的词重复一个意思,也可以作为一种强调的手段。 Bright, very bright, were the stars over the wild, dark Yen’an hills. ——Anna Louise Strong 
              动词和主动语态:在描写动作时,用动词比用表示动作的名词要好些,因为动词比名词更为生动有力。
              比较: At the sight of the disorderly crowed, he was aware that something bad would be possible. 
                     The moment he saw the disorderly crowed, he knew that something bad would happen. 
              第二句中的三个动词(saw,knew,happen)给人一种紧急的感觉,而第一句则缺少这种气氛。 

              从属:就是把次要的意思放在句子从属的成分里,从而突出主要意思。
              下面一句话包含两个意思: The professor walked into the classroom and he carried a bag of books with him. 这句的并列结构表示这两个意思同等重要。事实上前一个应该是主要意思,后一个则应该是从属的: The professor walked into the classroom, carrying a bag of books with him. The professor walked into the classroom with a bag of books under his arm. The professor walked into the classroom, a bag of books under his arm.




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