1. Self-awareness Complaining can be contagious, so if you find yourself falling into the same mental habits as the malcontents around you, stop yourself. When a negative thought pops into your mind, immediately revise it. Instead of telling yourself, "That's a nice shirt, but I can't afford it," change the message to, "That will look great with my black pants when I can afford it". By doing this, you're fostering the process of neurogenesis -- creating and reinforcing pathways in your brain that lead to positive behaviors. Of course, everyone complains sometimes: Your favorite team loses. Your computer crashes. Deadlines pile up. It's human to vent now and then. But the less frequently you complain, the more time will pass between lapses into negativity. This is how rewiring the brain works. 2. Distance yourself Whenever possible escape from negative conversations. Excuse yourself and go somewhere quiet, ideally somewhere outdoors in the fresh air. Think of something pleasant before returning. You have to take this seriously, because negative people can and will pull you into the quicksand. 3. Don't try to [w]convert[/w] complainers If you find yourself trapped in a toxic group of complainers in a meeting or at a social event, simply choose silence. Let their words bounce off you while you think of something else. Attempting to stop the griping may just alienate the group and make you a target, but you can redirect the discussion in your own mind.If someone says:"I hate Mondays, weekends are too short," try countering that by thinking, "I'm glad I rested up over the weekend, so I'm ready to make some headway on that big project"-- or whatever positive thoughts you can conjure up to keep you from getting mentally mired in]mired in someone else's whining. 4. Transfer responsibility On occasions when you're pressed against the wall while someone is ranting, throw the responsibility back at them by calmly asking, "So what do you intend to do about it?" In most cases, complainers don't really want a solution, nor are they looking for sympathy. They just want to vent, and this tactic will stop them in their tracks. |
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