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It's easy to think back on past relationships and remember only the negatives. You catalog your mistakes and dwell on the time you wasted with someone who left you with emotional baggage, a broken heart and little else. 想起过往的恋情，人们通常只记得不好的地方。你把自己的错误区分开来，不断回忆过去你浪费在这个人身上的时间，这个人让你感情受挫、心碎不已，除此之外几乎没留下任何东西。 But what if instead you looked at a split as an educational experience (albeit a really painful one) that taught you valuable lessons about what you want and absolutely don't want in your next relationship? Earlier this week, Redditors did just that, sharing the most important lesson they've learned by way of heartbreak. 但是如果你把一段破裂的关系看作一个学习的机会（虽然是非常痛苦的一段），会教会你一些有价值的教训，让你在下一段恋情中清楚地知道你想要什么、不想要什么。这周前几天，Reddit的忠实读者们在网上将他们失败恋情得来的惨痛教训分享出来。 1. 'You need to preserve your own identity and your space. Embrace your individuality, pursue your interests while sharing some of it as a couple.' “你要不能失去自我，要保留一份自己的空间。热爱自己的个性之处，在和对方分享自己一部分兴趣的同时，追求自己的那一部分。” 2. 'I learned that in order for someone to hear you, you have to talk, and in order for something to change, you have listen.' “如果想让对方听到你的心声，你要主动开口；为了寻求改变，你要学会倾听。” 3. 'You need things in common, but not common interests -- those will change. You need common values. Take stock of what's important to you, what's right and wrong in your world. Find someone who agrees with that and everything else will come together, more or less.' “你们需要有共同之处，但这不是指普通的兴趣爱好，因为这些会发生改变。你们需要相似的价值观。考虑一下对你重要的是什么，你的世界里什么是对的，什么是错的。找一个能和你达成以上共识的人，其他的共同点也会多多少少随之而来。” 4. 'Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice. In other words, never assume your significant other is up to something if they could possibly just be ignorant of the fact that it looks like they are up to something.' “当你做了蠢事的时候，不要怨恨。换句话说，不要以为对方有所图，可能他们只是没有注意到自己的行为看上去像有所企图一样。” 5. 'You can't love enough for both people.' “你不能同时爱两个人。” 6. 'Even if it doesn't work out, marriage and a divorce can make you a stronger and kinder person.' “即使恋爱维持不下去了，那么结婚或是离婚都可以让你成为一个更强壮和更好的人。” 7. 'You're not obliged to set yourself on fire in order to keep somebody else warm.' “你没有义务点燃自己去温暖对方。” 8. 'Don't let the fear of being alone lead you to deny what you really want. Hold on tightly to personal integrity.' “不要因为害怕孤独而将就、错过了自己真正想要的人。人品不可丢。” 9. 'To recognize and show appreciation for the love given by that other person in your life on a daily basis. They need to actually hear it. I should have said it more often.' “每天都要意识到爱的存在，并为对方付出的爱心存感激。而你的心声需要让对方听到。要是曾经的我明白这一点，多表达对爱的谢意就好了。” 10. 'You have to ask yourself: 'If you were someone of the opposite sex, would you date yourself?' That kind of made me take a look at my own bad habits and behaviors in a different light. Now when I have a fight or a disagreement in my current relationship, I try to make sure I respond in a manner I would want my partner to respond in.' |
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