只有Geek才能看得懂的段子

段子一：mathematician的大抽奖

A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. 
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, 
the mathematician explains the mode of payment: 
'1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that...'

一位数学家组织了一次彩票抽奖，胜者可以获得无限的金钱。

胜利者产生后问数学家索要奖金，数学家向他解释：

“奖金是这样支付的：本周付给1美元，下周付1/2美元，下下周付1/3美元……”。

段子二：

MM对Geek男友说：你是我的神马？
Geek说：我是你的导数
MM大惊：啊？你怎么会是我的导数啊？
Geek解释道：“If I Were Your Derivative，I Could Lie Tangent To Your Curves!'

段子三：

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying 'I differentiate you!'

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said 'I differentiate you!', but for once, his victim's expression didn't change.

Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly 'I differentiate you!', but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out 'I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!'

The new patient calmly looked up and said, 'You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the x.'

一位数学家每天都幻想把自己当成了微分符号，精神失常被送进了医院。在医院里，他整天四处走到其他病人面前大喊“我要把你微分了！”

一天他遇到了一个新病人，和以往一样，数学家对着这位病人大喊“我要把你微分了！”，但是这一次，病人表情没有任何反应，无动于衷。

数学家感到很奇怪，于是用尽全力，疯狂着朝着这个新病人大喊“我要把你微分了！”，可是这个人还是淡定的没有任何反应。数学家感到很沮丧，向他尖叫“我要把你微分了！”

新病人冷静地看着他说“你随便微分我吧——我是e的x次方。”

段子四：段子三的升级版

A constant function and ex are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. 'Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!' 

'Ah,' says ex, 'he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!' and he walks on. 

Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

ex: 'Hi, I'm ex'

diff.op.: 'Hi, I'm d/dy'

一个常函数和e^x正在走路，突然一个微分出现了。常函数马上跑开，并向e^x
解释到：那可是微分符。我要被微了，就神马都没了。

e^x很自信地说：'我才不怕呢，我是e的x次方'。

后来e^x遇到了微分符。

e^x： Hi，我是e的x次方

微分符： Hi，我是d/dy。

段子五：

Two mathematicians were having dinner. One was complaining, 'The average person is a mathematical idiot. People cannot do arithmetic properly, cannot balance a check book, cannot figure tips, cannot do percents,...' The other mathematician disagreed, 'You're exaggerating. People know all the math they need to know.'

Later in the dinner, the complainer went to the men's room. The other mathematician beckoned to the waitress and said, 'The next time you come past our table, I am going to stop you and ask you a question. No matter what I say, I want you to answer by saying 'x-squared.'

When the other mathematician returned, his companion said, 'I am tired of your complaining. I am going to stop the next person who comes by our table and ask him or her an elementary calculus question, and I bet the person can solve it.' Soon the waitress came by and he asked, 'Excuse me, Miss, but can you tell me what the integral of 2x with respect to x is?' The waitress replied, 'x-squared.' The mathematician said, 'See!' His friend said, 'Oh I guess you're right.' And the waitress said, 'Plus a constant.'

两个数学家正在吃晚饭。一个抱怨道：普通人真是蠢透了。他们不能做算术，
不能保证支票本收支平衡，不会口算技巧(figure tips不知道怎么翻译……)，
不能算百分数……”。“另一个数学家说：没那么夸张了，一般人的数学能力都够用了。”

过了一会，那个抱怨的数学家起身嘘嘘去了。他的同伴趁机拦住一位女侍者说：

“一会儿你经过这个桌子的时候，我会问你问题。不管我问什么，你都要回答：
x的平方。”

等那个去嘘嘘的数学家回来后，他的同伴说：“我受不了你的抱怨了。等会儿有人经过咱们的时候，我要问TA一个数学问题，我保证对方能回答。”

当女侍者经过的时候，他问道：“打扰下，小姐。请问2x的积分是多少？”。“x的平方”，女侍者回答道。“瞧瞧”，那人说，“这不就说对了么？”。 “可是还要加上一个常数”，女侍者补充道。

来源：