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Wednesday  Several days ago, a friend of mine came to visit me. He was watching TV in the living room while I was busy for writing in my room. And my phone was placed in the living room for charge. Around half an hour later, I came out for some water finding out that he was holding my mobile phone. 几天前，一个朋友来我家玩，他在客厅看电视，我就在房间里写文章，手机便放在客厅充电。大约过了半小时，我从房间里出来准备喝水，发现朋友正拿着我手机玩。 Seeing this situation, I smiled and told him that there was no game and no joy in my phone. He explained his phone was out of power and he took my phone to log in QQ. After a short while, I found my all QQ chat records disappeared when I approached to my phone. 见此状况，我笑着和朋友说手机里没有游戏，没什么玩的。他说他手机没电了，拿我手机登录QQ。没一会儿，当我拿起手机登录自己的QQ时，才发现聊天记录全没了。 At that moment, I was quite depressed, even started to get a bit angry. Guessing that he was not aware of what he’s doing, I smiled to ask him why the records were all gone. I keep all the records in case I forget what others said to me. He just said he knew nothing and all messages just disappeared when he logged out. What’s worse, he added one sentence “You’re so nervous cause there must be dirty secrets”. Consequently, I struggled hard to hold back my anger and paid no attention to him. 当时的我很郁闷，甚至有点生气，但想着也许朋友也是无意之举，就笑着问聊天记录怎么没有了，我保留着记录是怕忘记别人和我说的事。朋友说不知道，反正退出来就没有了。他还补充一句“那么紧张干嘛，莫非有见不得人的秘密”，我强忍着心中的怒火没搭理他。 Frankly, what I dislike most is to play my phone without letting me know. For my convenience, I didn’t set a password. Because there is no secret in my phone and I’m not afraid of giving my information away to others. At most, I just save my chat records. However, I really dislike checking my phone without informing me. It is so embarrassed and it feels like someone has been hiding in the shadows and watching your bath. 说实在的，我最不喜欢别人在我不知情的情况下玩我的手机。我手机不设密码，是因为方便，也因为手机里真的没什么秘密，不怕别人看我手机，顶多就保存着与别人的聊天记录。但我不喜欢别人在我不知道的情况下翻我手机，这种感觉像是别人一直躲在暗处看自己洗澡，很尴尬。
1. 手机借给你用，不代表你可以乱翻。 If someone knows you scam others’ phone without informing, it only increases the disgust from others. Even, it causes a rift in friendship. 如果别人知道你在对方不知情的情况下，浏览了别人手机里的内容，这只会增加别人对你的厌恶感，甚至让友情在无形中产生裂痕。 A nearby friend Xiaoyi said, she particularly dislikes people checking her phone. Consequently, she set a password for it. But even so, her information couldn’t escape the destiny of ebeing peeped. 身边一个朋友小艺说，她特别不喜欢别人看自己的手机，所以她把手机设置了密码。尽管小艺手机设置了密码，但手机里的信息仍然逃不过被别人“偷窥”。 Xiaoyi told me, once her colleague borrowed her phone to make calls. Without considering too much, she gave her phone to the colleague. Who knows the colleague took the phone away to make calls and sent it back to her after quite a while. 小艺告诉我，有一回她的同事问她借手机打电话，小艺没有想太多便把手机拿给了同事。谁知道这个同事拿了手机后去厕所打电话，过了好一会儿才还。 Her colleague returned her phone, with the WeChat remaining on the page of album. Immediately, she knew her colleague had read her pictures stealthily. Even, in WeChat, unread messages from her boyfriend all turned into read. It causes her great frustration. 对方还了手机，小艺看见自己的微信停留在相册页面，她就知道同事悄悄看了自己的照片，就连微信里与男友的未读信息都变成了已读，这件事让她十分郁闷。 Which makes Xiaoyi embarrassed is the female colleague always asks Xiaoyi why her PS technique is so great and teach her how to do. Hearing her colleague’s teasing, Xiaoyi thought maybe her colleague had seen her original pictures which she didn’t delete. 让小艺感觉尴尬的是，这名女同事总会有意无意的问小艺p图技术怎么那么好，教教她如何p照片。听见同事故意揶揄，小艺料想她手机相册里没有删的照片原图，也应该被同事看见了。 Henceforth, Xiaoyi always feels wicked when that female colleague smiles to her. Seemingly, she implies “I have seen your messages in your phone” that makes Xiaoyi feel like her privacy being discovered which acts as evidence being grasped by other. 自此之后，这名女同事只要对着小艺笑时，小艺总感觉笑得有些阴险，好像暗示说“我看见过你手机里的东西了”，这让小艺感到自己的隐私被发现，像有了把柄在别人手上。 Someone trusts you and is willing to lend phone to you. But, it doesn’t mean he/she acquiesces your checking album and all social apps in his/her phone. If you respect your friends, so do not check their phones secretly. It is an immoral behavior. Putting yourself in other people’s position, what would you feel if someone has checked your phone quietly. 有人信任你，愿意把手机借给你，但这并不代表默认你翻看手机相册以及一切社交软件。如果你尊重朋友，就不要悄悄翻看对方的手机。 悄悄翻看别人的手机，这是不道德的行为，换位思考一下，如果有人悄悄看了你的手机，你又会是怎样的心情呢？
2. 情侣之间的首要相处之道，是尊重与信任。 Last week, my high school classmate Xiao Fen asked me out for coffee. By the way, she asked me for some advice. 上周，高中同学小芬约我出去喝咖啡，顺便让我给她支支招。 After meeting, while gesturing, she just said “My boyfriend and I behave as an old married couple, why he always loves to check my phone lately. In his mind, he did it without being noticed. Actually, he always leaves some clues ”. You can tell, Xiaofen must be very angry. 见面后，只见她一边比划一边说“我和男友都属于老夫老妻了，为什么他最近特别喜欢悄悄翻我手机，他以为神不知鬼不觉，其实他都留有蛛丝马迹”。看得出来，小芬很是生气。 Since Xiaofen’s boyfriend has checked her phone for many times recently. In her phone, there is no chat records showing her having affair with other males. Xiaofen has a relationship with her boyfriend for over three years, and they two prepare to get married next year. She really loves her boyfriend. But, she doesn’t know the reason why he checks her phone silently. It makes her quite angry and depressed. 原来，小芬男友最近不止一次偷看她手机，小芬手机里也没有与其他男性暧昧的聊天记录。小芬和男友在一起三年多了，两人准备明年结婚，她是真心喜欢男友，可是不知道男友为什么悄悄偷看她手机，这让她很气愤且郁闷，但又不好直接告诉男友。 Check your lover’s phone chat records secretly, and all matters is because mistrust and absence of your own insecurity. 悄悄翻看对象手机里的聊天记录，无外乎是因为不信任以及自身安全感的缺失。说到底，小芬男友想着明年就要结婚了，他也患得患失，害怕小芬突然不爱自己。 Merely, in the name of love, it is just putting shackles to love when some check lovers's phone secretly. In your mind, you love him/her. Actually, you try to manipulate your lover invisibly. You, not only do not respect your lover but also you just tend to extend your own command. Between lovers, respecting some privacy can avoid arousing conflicts. If you want to read your lover’s chat records, you can bring up the matter directly. Do not check the phone quietly behind his/her back which will impact on the feelings of both sides. 只不过，有些以爱之名悄悄翻看对象的手机，都是给爱上了枷锁，你以为你是爱对方，其实，你是无形之中操控对方，既不尊重恋人，也想扩大自己的掌控欲。恋人之间，彼此尊重一些隐私可以避免激发矛盾，如果你想看对象的聊天记录，你可以直接提出，别在背后悄悄偷看，这会影响双方感情。
3. 别以“我为你好”，悄悄翻子女的手 My college classmate Huaihuai told me, in her high school, her mother kept checking her phone in the name of “I care about you and want to know her spare life”. In her high school, Huaihuai was so glad that the rigid and conservative adults were willing to commute with a post-90s. She was also happy to let her mother check her phone. After she entered into college, she taught her parents how to surf on the Internet and applied QQ&MicroBlog for them. As well, she didn’t block them. 大学同学怀怀告诉我，在她读高中时，她妈妈总喜欢打着“我关心你，想了解你的业余生活”为旗号，以此翻看怀怀的手机。高中时，怀怀觉得一向刻板保守的大人愿意和90后的年轻人沟通交流，她非常乐意让自己的妈妈看她手机。读大学后，怀怀教父母上网，给他们申请QQ与微博，也没有屏蔽父母。 Over time, Huaihuai’s classmates told her that her mother asked them for Huaihuai’s college life through MicroBlog private letters. Certainly, the quarrel between Huaihuai and her parents resulted from a main event. She found her parents checking her phone when went back to get the phone once she returned home for a holiday and forgot to take it when went back to college. 时间久了，怀怀的同学告诉她，她妈妈给她同学发微博私信打听怀怀在大学里的情况。当然，让怀怀与父母吵架的主要事件，因为某次放假回家，怀怀忘记带手机，等到回去拿时，发现父母正在看她手机。 On seeing it, Huaihuai got extremely angry. She questioned her parents why they read her phone secretly and paid no respect to her. As for Huaihuai’s parents, they still made it--“We check your phone because we care about you” as an excuse. They also told Huaihuai there is no privacy violating and it is the natural course of things to check her phone. 见此情景，怀怀非常生气，她质问父母为什么悄悄看她手机，一点都不尊重她。至于怀怀父母，仍然以“我是关心你才看你手机”为由，告诉怀怀他们看她手机理所当然，哪有什么侵犯隐私。 As there are so many things which are taken for granted, it leads to difficult communication between parents and children, it also arouses conflicts between friends. 正是那么多自以为是的“理所当然”，才让父母与孩子间难以沟通，让朋友间闹了矛盾。 Out of curiosity, many people prefer to check others’ phones quietly. In your mind, you take it as trivial matter. In fact, you leave a fuse for your relationship imperceptibly. If others lend their phones to you for your convenience, you shouldn’t feel free to check and read contents inside. Moreover, please do not check you friends’ phones. 多少人，因为好奇心作祟，喜欢悄悄翻看别人的手机。你以为是一件微不足道的小事，其实，无形之中给感情埋下了导火线。别人借给你手机打电话，你就不要乱翻对方手机里的内容，更不要悄悄翻看朋友的手机。 No matter whether others set a password or not, you should pay them respect and trust. Those are the primary requirements that keep the relationship fresh all the time. If you fail to meet the requirements, just do not keep complaining “my friends do not respect at all and even my besties check my phone silently”. Please review yourself well first before complaining others. 不管别人手机有没有设置密码，尊重与信任，这才是让感情一直保鲜的基本要求。如若你连这点要求都达不到，就不要总是抱怨“朋友一点都不尊重我，闺蜜居然偷看我手机”，吐槽别人前，先好好检讨自己。
英语共读11月共读英文原版《自控力》，正式开课，就等你了。 |
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