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A night spent half awake and half asleep was a long one. When awake, I conversed with myself; when asleep, I conversed with dreams. By conversing with myself, I approached to myself one more step. The source of my anger, restlessness, sense of being unsafe, and sense of failure seemed to have been found more profoundly. By conversing with dreams, I approached to God one more step. The source of love, kindness, sympathy, sense of being safe, and refuge seemed to have been found. Only in faith will love of the absolute greatness and benevolence be revealed. Depraved, we are limited, in reason and feelings. Objectives of life are always coming from vanity, instinct, desires, etc. Vanity as impetus for life successes or wordly achievement eventually lead to vanity. So many so-called successes have a sense of disillusion when they are in deathbed or in calamity. They should read Ecclesiastes earlier. I'm not a person holding the view of nihilism：nothing has any value. On the contrary, life is worthwhile because life is useful with the burden of mission. Life is a lofty gift with light and sanctity. However, many lives are employed by human beings themselves to satisfy their own bodily desires, which is by many regarded as the real life for the enjoyment of material world. It's maybe a waste of life. Every life should not be wasted, though. Let's have someting transcendental as life objectives. When I'm suffering from a polypus on the vocals cord, I begin to think of the importance of voice. What is voice? Only sounds from the throat or all the vocal organs? Then what is the use of voice? For communication? Human beings misunderstand each other as well as understand each other by communication. Voice, what's the value of it? |
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