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来源 | 帮课一线实战群 学员提问： HiXXX,
Glad to see you at MEDICA.
Here is XX, we are OEM/ODM Manufacturer of Medical devices with 17years in China, which has CE, ISO13485 certificated. We had the honor to serve the XXXX and XXXX with Online store and big distributor XXXX in Turkey.
We have special team work for after sales service. We are ready for signing contract with you in case you need it, Quality is our faith,The following are our advantages
1.17 years of experience in producing medical products
2. Top three medical product factories in China
3. CE ISO issued by SGS
4. Two-year warranty
5.8 production lines, monthly production capacity of 600,000 PCS, to provide the fastest delivery
6.I have 5 years of experience in exporting medical products, and my profession will help you earn more profits.
Attachment is new items and some information about our best seller, our factory and certificates, hope we can have long term business with you in near future.
老师们能否帮我点评一下这封开发信。 传统开发信，太冗长了，“废话”比较多...不够精湛。 HelloX,
Here is XX, we are a 17 years experiences OEM/ODM Medical Devices manufacturer from China. (Medical Devices 加粗）
Our advantage: （加粗）
- Top three medical product factories at China
- Monthly production capacity of 600,000 PCS, quick delivery
- CE, ISO certificates issued by SGS
- Guaranteed warranty with good reputation from abroad
Let me know if any interest, will be happy to send you more details by return, thanks!
开发信讲重点，摒弃那些不重要的词语，能用一句话表达的不要用两句话，能用一个单词表达的不要用两个单词，
还有一个重点，第一封开发信不建议发附件哈，容易被拦截判断成垃圾邮件啥的......客户回复了再发附件内容。
-Guaranteed warranty with good reputation from abroad
这句要不要提一些大品牌来支撑这句话。
你挺细心的，我刚也想要这点，怕加上太长，不过还是可以加的，显得有逼格。
可以在这句话下面打个括号，在括号里面表现出来，但是要简短一点（xxxxxx） 你理念是有的，就是一下子在邮件里表达太“多”了，“多”就显得“乱”，其实很多点可以分开来表达，比如甚至邮件可以就两句话，比如 Hello X,
Here is XX, we are a 17 years experiences OEM/ODM Medical Devices manufacturer from China. (Medical Devices 加粗）
We have CE, ISO certificates issued by SGS. （这句甚至也可以不加）
Let me know if any interest, thanks!
抬头就写 17 years experiences OEM/ODM Medical Devices manufacturer 或者 OEM/ODM Medical Devices manufacturer with CE, ISO certificates. Hello X,
We produce Medical Devices 17 years now at China,
OEM/ODM service available.
Let me know if any interest, thanks!
Hello X,
OEM/ODM Medical Devices manufacturer from China.
Monthly production capacity of 600,000 PCS, quick delivery
Call me, let's talk more details! Hello X,
Need high quality level medical devices?
XX, Top three medical product factories at China,
Monthly produce 600,000 PCS XX, quick delivery
Call me, let's talk more details! 等等还有很多种表达手法...
自己体会一下，这样是否简单干脆？当然咱们这里的短是恰到好处的短，不是庸俗的短哈， 一封好的开发信得在茫茫邮件中瞬间吸引住客户眼光，让客户停留，那就OK了。
就跟一些广告词一样，越高层次的广告越短，甚至以通俗易懂的表现模式表现出来，比如
“飘柔，就是这样自信”
“怕上火喝王老吉”
“累了困了喝红牛”
“驾乘乐趣, 创新极限”（宝马广告语）
“领先, 因为不断向前”（奔驰广告语）
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