 性格内向的朋友，在成长过程中一定或多或少被问过这样的问题：“你怎么不说话啊？”长此以往，内向的人很容易被贴上“不合群”“性格差”“情商低”的标签。 或许你还曾尝试伪装成一个外向的人，迎合别人，假装开朗，最后让自己身心俱疲。甚至悄悄问自己：内向，是一种错误吗？ 关于内向，歌手毛不易曾在节目中谈到：“你要允许有一些人，有安静的青春。” 演讲者徐亦然，用自己的经历，传递出内向者的心声：接纳自己的内向，但别做内向受害者。
2020年6月20日，开言Talk深圳现场，徐亦然发表演讲 Do What We Fear 01. 我是一个内向者  Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 下午好，女士们先生们。 How are you? 你们好吗？ My name is Richard. 我叫理查德。 I am here to deliver a speech about introverts. 今天给大家带来一个关于“内向者”主题的演讲。 Are there any introverts here? 在座的有没有内向者呢？ Please raise your hands. 请举起你们的手来。 Okay, thank you. 好的，谢谢。 If you are a true introvert, you may be too shy to raise your hand. 如果你真是个内向者，也许你会害羞得不敢举手。 Well, introverts are a kind of people who normally feel anxious and find it difficult to share their ideas to the public. 内向者是一类这样的人，他们通常会对向公众发表自己的意见这种事感到焦虑和困难。 Or we usually just call them as shy people. 我们通常也称他们为害羞的人。 They may also be victims of social phobia. 他们可能是社交恐惧症的受害者。 And who knows the proportion of introverts around the globe? 有谁知道全球的内向者占总人数的比例是多少？ There's no accurate answer. 没有一个准确答案的。 Some would say 50%, others would say one third. 有人说50%，也有人说30%。 But I know I am one of them. 不过我知道，我是他们的一员。 I am an introvert. 我是一个内向者。 02. 社交是内向者的噩梦  Several years ago, on one beautiful day in May, I was on board that train, as a member of the exchange programme, 多年前，在五月的某个美好的日子，我在一辆火车上， which was organized by my college. 参加我学校组织的一个交流项目。 The programme had approximately 90 students and faculties, who took a train together from China to Europe. 这个活动包含了90个左右的师生，我们共同坐火车从我国前往欧洲。 Then we were going to make a bunch of cultural and academic exchanges with the local students and companies there. 抵达后，我们会和当地的大学生和公司进行一系列的文化和学术交流。 Before this journey, I was a typical introvert who suffered from social anxiety. 在此行之前，我是个害怕社交的典型内向者 I had to keep social distance from others. 我会和他人保持社交距离； I was never a party guy. 我从来不喜欢派对； When my phone was ringing, I would start to feel anxious like: Whose phone number is this? 我的手机一响，我就会陷入焦虑：是谁给我打电话？ What does he have to say to me? 他又有什么要对我说的呢？ It even took me a moment to prepare before I pressed the “answer” button. 在按下接通键之前，我甚至都需要一点时间来心理准备。 So, as you can imagine, I felt uneasy and nervous about this train trip because: 因此，你们可以想象，对于这次的火车行，我感到紧张焦虑。因为： There is no escape on the train. 火车上无处逃避。 Not a place that I could hide myself and get some isolation. 没有地方给我躲藏或是自我隔离。 Maybe the toilet is an option, but you know the environment of that. 也许洗手间是个选择，但你也知道那里的环境多糟。 At college I could use WeChat or QQ to exchange information with others, but that wouldn’t work on the green train. 在学校，我可以使用一些社交软件如微信、QQ与同学联系。但在火车上，这些可都行不通。 Everyone would face each other in every conversation. 所有人都会在交流中采取面对面的方式。 You know we introverts are afraid of social contacts. 你们知道内向者害怕社交。 Just imagine, sitting in a room this big, side to side with each other, packed like sardines, 想象一下，一起肩并肩坐在这样大的车厢房间里，塞得像沙丁鱼罐头一样， with a person looking directly in your eyes. 还有人直视你的眼睛。 This could be a nightmare for an introvert like me. 对于我这样的内向者，简直可称作是噩梦了。 To make matters even worse, the whole journey on this small train, 更糟糕的是，这辆小火车的行程， facing someone, sitting next to them, looking in their eyes, 包括直面社交、一起挤在车厢里、直视其他人的眼睛， being forced to talk, is going to last an entire week. 不得不说话这些场景的行程，要持续一整个星期。 Oh gosh, how am I going to survive this? 天呐，我该怎么度过去呢？ Oh, I also forget to mention that no showers for a whole week as well. 哦，我还忘了提了，这一周也是不能洗澡的。 You could imagine a train filled with boys. 你们可以想象当时一车厢的男生， The smell. 那味道 It was gross, man. 挺恶心的。 03. 尴尬的隐形人  The reason that I participated in this programme was that I thought I could make some progress on social contacts during the process. 我参加这次活动的原因是我觉得我可以在活动过程中获得社交方面的进步 But once the train began moving, I started to feel regret. 但是火车一发动，我就开始后悔了。 Several students including me were sitting in the same car, talking about this journey. 当时我们几个学生坐在一个车厢里，正在讨论这次行程。 One of them said: “Uh, it's going to be tough because we can't even take a shower here”. 一个同学说：”这次行程会比较艰难，因为我们都没法在这儿洗澡。” I didn't know what to say in that situation, so I only had two words to answer him, “hehe”. 当时我也不知该说什么，所以我就用两个字回答他了：“呵呵。” Then there was a long silence. 接下来是漫长的无声。 You can imagine how embarrassed I felt at that moment. 你们可以想象当时我有多尴尬。 Luckily someone followed:'The conversation ends with 'hehe'.' 幸运的是有人接话了：“聊天止于呵呵。” A terrible mistake! 巨大的错误！ A terrible mistake to get on this train, I thought. 上这火车就是个巨大的错误！我心想。 The real challenge followed. 真正的挑战来了。 We had certain tasks to accomplish on board, which were assigned by our teachers who accompanied us. 在火车上，我们要完成一些随行老师布置的任务。 My teammates were busy brainstorming, 我所在的小组当时正在为一个项目开展头脑风暴， and making preparations in order to deliver a speech about innovative design of automotive interior for Volvo Corporation. 以及准备工作。这个项目的主题是汽车内饰的创新设计，完成后要向沃尔沃汽车汇报。 Of course, I was invisible during the discussion section. 毫无疑问，在讨论过程中我是隐形的。 When they were discussing something that I actually knew about, and they couldn't find a solution, 当他们讨论到一些我有所了解但他们找不到解决方案的问题时， for some reason, I kept my mouth shut. 我不知道怎么嘴巴闭得很紧。 I didn't say anything. 我默不做声，什么也没说。 04. 亟需战胜的恐惧  After the meeting, John, a Swedish student of my team asked to talk to me privately. 会后，我的组里一个来自瑞典的同学约翰私下找到我。 He said: “Hey Richard, you've got such a unique background, 他说：“嗨，理查德，你拥有一个独特的背景， you know, because most of our teammates come from design academies and you major in automation engineering. 因为我们组的大多数成员是来自设计学院的，而你的专业是自动控制。 Maybe you can give us some ideas from your perspective.” 也许你能从你的专业背景出发给我们提供些思路。” I replied: “Yeah, actually I do have some.” 我回答：“哦我的确有些想法。” After he heard what I thought, he was like: “Oh man, why didn’t you say anything?” 当他听完我的想法，他说：“天呐，你为啥之前不说呢？” “Eh…I don't know. I thought my ideas were stupid.” “额，我也不知道。我觉得我的想法挺蠢的。” “No! Your ideas could be a perfect solution and would’ve saved us a lot of time!” “不！你的想法可能是个很好的解决方案，并且节省我们很多时间！” That night, I thought a lot lying on my bed. 那晚，我躺在床上想了很多。 With the sound of the tuk-tuk, I couldn't sleep. 伴随着轨道的突突声，我不能入睡。 I felt the conflict inside of me. 我能感到我内心的冲突。 Sometimes I knew the right thing to say, but I was just too scared to make my voice heard. 有时我知道该说什么，但我就是不敢说出口。 Could I live with this conflict my entire life? 我能一辈子活在这种冲突中吗？ Just imagine how the rest of my life would be. 想象一下我接下来的生活会是什么样的。 What if I meet my Miss right, and I can't tell her that I love her? 如果我碰到了意中人，我却不敢告诉她我爱她？ What if I have the opportunity to have a best job ever, but I'm too nervous to show my real strength? 如果我有机会争取到梦寐以求的工作，我却紧张得无法展现真正实力？ What if injustice happens, but I'm scared to stand up for myself or those I wanna protect? 如果发生了不公，我却怯于为我自己或是我想保护的人站出来？ I didn't think I could live with this any longer. 我不认为我能一直这样下去了。 05. 内向者≠内向受害者  On the next day. 第二天 John shared my thoughts with the team and recommended me to be the one to report on behalf of the team. 约翰在组内分享了我的想法并且推荐我作为汇报代表。 My teammates rooted for me. 我的组员支持我。 I could feel their support and my trembling heart as well. 我感觉到了他们的支持，也感觉到了我颤动的内心。 I couldn't let everybody down. 我不能辜负了大家。 It was time to face my introversion. 是时候面对我的内向了。 During the next few days left on the train 在火车上剩余的几天里 I constantly challenged and encouraged myself to communicate with each one of them more actively and boldly. 我一直挑战并鼓励自己去和每个人更积极、大胆地交流。 I realized that through adequate preparations, I could feel more confident. 我意识到通过充足的准备，我可以感到更自信。 A week passed quickly. 一周过得很快。 When I stepped out of that train, I was still that introvert. 走出火车时，我仍然是那个内向者。 But my determination and my guts to overcome the shortcoming of introversion was total different. 但我想克服内向的决心和胆量却与以往不同了。 In the following week, on behalf of the project team, I delivered a speech at the Headquarter of Volvo in Sweden. 在下一周，我代表小组在瑞典的沃尔沃汽车总部发表了汇报演讲。 The stage I was standing on was pretty much like this one, 当时我所站的讲台和现在这里差不多， but my audiences were professionals of automotive industry. 但是我的观众是汽车行业的专业人士。 I walked into the room; all eyes were around me. 我走进讲堂，所有目光汇聚在我身上。 I started to feel nervous. 我感到紧张！ When I opened my mouth, my voice was trembling. 当我尝试张嘴时，我感觉声音都在颤抖。 I told myself I had to go on. 我默默告诉我自己必须继续。 I told myself I had to go on. 我默默告诉我自己必须继续。 As I began to say more and more, I could feel my confidence growing. 当我开始越说越多时，我能感觉信心在增长。 At first, people in the room didn't pay much attention to what I said. 一开始，在座的众人并没有很关注我说的内容。 But after I began to explain points clearly and tell them what they wanted, they started to get interested. 但当我开始清晰地阐明我的观点并讲述他们想要的内容时，他们开始感兴趣了。 At the end, they gave me a round of applause. 最后，他们给了我一轮掌声。 I felt I was like a hero, not because I contributed when I was needed, 我感觉我像个英雄，不是因为在需要我时我做出了贡献 but because I seized my chance. 而是我把握住了机会。 After this journey had been on track, I began to realize there were ways for introverts to overcome social anxiety. 在经历过这次铁轨上的行程之后，我开始意识到内向者是有办法克服社交恐惧的。 So, I started to do what I fear from the little things. 我开始从小事入手，去做我害怕的事情。 I started to express myself voluntarily to the public, 我开始自发地对公众表达自己的想法， to join in different English Clubs, and to stand up at a meeting. 参加不同的英语俱乐部，并在会议中发表意见。 My introversion was still there, but after my persistent practices, I was no long a victim of it. 我的内向还在，但是通过持续不懈的实践，我不再是内向的受害者了。 Like right now I am standing here in front of you, I still feel nervous, I don't deny it. 就像现在我站在你们面前，我还是感到紧张的，我不否认。 But knowing that maybe more introverts could be inspired by me, 不过由于我知道，因为我的演讲，更多的内向者可能收到启发， my so-called 'torture on stage' is totally worth it. 我所谓的“讲台上的折磨”就是很值得了。 It's okay to be an introvert. 当一名内向者没有问题 There's nothing wrong with that. 真的没啥问题。 But at the same time, not doing something that should be done is totally different. 但是，如果是不去做本该做的事，就另当别论了。 I am not asking we introverts should all become extraverts. 我并不是呼吁我们内向者都应该成为外向者。 It's okay not to be chatty, it's okay to be quiet, because a quiet person can also be a deep thinker. 话不多不是问题，人比较安静也不是问题，因为一个安静的人往往也是个能够深度思考的人。 What really matters is that we don't miss out on any amazing opportunities in life. 重要的是我们不因此错过人生中的任何绝佳机会。 Life is just like a green train that moves on track slowly, 人生就像一辆慢慢在铁轨上前进的绿皮车， there are many people, things and opportunities we may encounter. 在车上我们会碰到许多人、事和机会。 For introverts, for every single one of us, 对于内向者，对于我们每一个人 by challenging our fear we can break out of our shells and live life to the fullest. 通过挑战我们内心的惧怕，我们能突破自己的局限，最大限度地充实自己的生活。 Wouldn't now be a good time to face our fear and make a change? 现在不正是一个直面自己恐惧并且做出改变的好时机么？ Thank you. 谢谢。 #演讲者分享# 开言Talker徐亦然分享开言学习心得： 意外地通过朋友推荐了解到开言，开言的纯母语环境的沉浸式场景对话正是我所要的。 每天的碎片时间，在路上，做家务，或者喝咖啡时，我都会打开听听。没过多久，Adam富有磁性的嗓音，Lisa优美清晰的发音和Spencer的调侃等主播的形象已深入我心。 除了APP的使用外，开言组织的活动也有趣、有益。除了有挑战的Talk，还有线上线下的WeMeet。最近我也在做WeMeet的主持，认识了很多学习开言的小伙伴，大家共同学习的气氛很好。 |
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