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A Harvard Economist Says All Parents Who Raise Successful Kids Perform These 8 Specific 'Types' of Parenting 所有养育了成功子女的父母都成为了这8种特殊的人， 哈佛一位经济学家如是说 By Matt Egan / November 19 , 2019 剪辑：BM ︱翻译：Ray︱校对：Sally They say death and taxes are the only certainties in this life, but those of us with kids know there's another truth that transcends place, time, and circumstance: No matter who you are or where you live, raising happy, successful kids is hard.
人们说死亡和税收是生命中唯一可以确定的事，但我们这些有孩子的人知道，还有一个真理超越了地点、时间和环境：无论你是谁或你住在哪里，抚养快乐、成功的孩子都不是一件容易的事。That's what Harvard economist Ronald Ferguson and award-winning journalist Tatsha Robertson wanted to know when they set out to write their new book, The Formula: Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children. To figure out the answer, they interviewed 200 successful adults and their parents to identify commonalities in how these kids were raised.这正是哈佛大学经济学家罗纳德·弗格森和获奖记者塔莎·罗伯逊在开始写一本名为《公式：揭开抚养成功孩子的秘密》的新书时想要知道的。为了找出答案，他们采访了200名成功的成年人和他们的父母，以找出这些孩子在成长过程中的共同之处。Lo and behold, a pattern emerged. Each of these high functioning, fully realized adults had parents who performed the same eight roles for them as kids.你瞧，一个模式出现了。这些高能、完满地实现了梦想的成年人，在他们还是孩子时都有扮演着八个角色的父母。So what are these essential roles? I combed podcast and print interviews with the authors to get a rough sense of all eight:那么，这些基本角色都是什么呢？我对播客内容和作者的采访进行了梳理，得到以下这八个方面：1.The Early Learning PartnerRight from the beginning, parents who raise successful kids show their children that learning is a fun and essential part of life. In nearly every family the authors studied, "the parent has spent a lot of time before the child started school, basically beginning from birth, interacting with the child, playing games, doing things that the child perceived as fun, but that were building a love of learning and a love of problem solving," notes Ferguson.从一开始，养育成功孩子的父母就向他们的孩子表明，学习是生活中很有趣和必不可少的一部分。在作者所研究的几乎每个家庭中，“父母在孩子开始上学之前都花了很多时间，基本上是从孩子出生开始，与孩子互动，玩游戏，做孩子认为有趣的事情，但这些都在培养孩子对学习的热爱和对解决问题的热爱，”弗格森指出。"Helicopter" or "snow plow" parents who remove all obstacles from their kids' paths rightfully catch a lot of flak these days, but according to Ferguson and Robertson great parents do ensure their kids have the opportunities they need to thrive (though they presumably allow them to walk--or stumble--through those doors themselves).那些在孩子们成长的道路上为他们清除了所有障碍的被称为“直升机”父母或“雪爬犁”父母，现在受到很多抨击，但根据弗格森和罗伯逊的说法，好的父母是会保护孩子有机会茁壮成长（尽管他们可能允许孩子们自己走 — 或者说允许他们摔跟头 — 走过那些门坎）。"The flight engineer stays tuned in to what's happening, typically at school, and most of this is from a distance," says Ferguson, "but if something starts to go off track, the flight engineer quickly gets involved.... The flight engineer just helps to ensure the world is serving their child well."“飞行工程师会一直关注发生的事情，通常是在学校，而且大部分都是在远处，”弗格森说，“但是如果事情开始偏离轨道，飞行工程师很快就会介入。。。。飞行工程师只是确保这个世界给孩子他所应得到的。”Great parents "make great sacrifices just to be sure that, particularly in areas their kids were interested in, that the door to opportunity stayed open, even if the parent had to find an ally to help fill in the missing piece," Ferguson explains, citing one mother who actually sold her wedding ring to buy her daughter a flute.伟大的父母“做出巨大的牺牲，只是为了确保，特别是在他们的孩子感兴趣的领域，机会之门总会敞开，即使父母必须找到一个盟友来帮助填补空缺。”弗格森解释说，并援引一位母亲的话，她为了给女儿买了一支长笛而变卖了自己的结婚戒指。"The revealer exposes the child to the richness of life, lets the child know the world is a lot bigger than our neighborhood," says Ferguson.弗格森说：“揭示者让孩子接触到丰富的生活，让孩子知道世界比我们的社区大得多。”。"In the first five years, what I call the role of the 'philosopher' is getting started sometimes, where the child is asking questions and the parent will give very thoughtful answers. Sometimes it's a question like: Why do people die? It's responding to the child in ways that support the child's thinking," Ferguson explains in another interview.“在孩子五岁之前，我所说的这个‘哲学家’的角色就开始了，孩子问问题，家长会给出深思熟虑的答案。有时候好像这样的问题，比如：为什么人们会死？用什么方式回答他的问题，才会让孩子一直思考下去，是很重要的。”弗格森在另一次采访中解释道。"The model is the parent who can conduct themselves in a way that the child views them worthy of emulation, and particular aspects of how the parent carries themselves, how they relate to other people, or how they persist or are relentless when they are pursuing their own goals. The child says, 'I want to be like that,'" says Ferguson.“榜样就是父母是如何作为的，而孩子觉得值得效仿，特别是父母如何表现自己，如何与他人相处，如何在追求自己的目标时坚持或绝不放弃。孩子会说，‘我也想那样做，’”弗格森说。In the role of the negotiator, parents hash out deals with the kids and hold them to those bargains so they learn to advocate for themselves and exercise self-control. "Once the choice is made, sticking with it for a while becomes a non-negotiable requirement. The child isn't allowed to go back on the agreement," write Robertson and Ferguson.作为谈判者的角色，父母会和孩子们细致讨论，并让他们遵守协议，这样他们就学会了为自己辩护和自我控制。“一旦做出选择就必须坚持就成了不可协商的底线。”罗伯逊和弗格森写道：“孩子是不允许违反协议的。”。8.The GPS Navigational Voice.This may well be your most lasting role as a parent. "[It's] the parent in the child's head after the parent is no longer around--after the child has gone off into the world--and all of the lessons from the earlier roles are resonating," Ferguson explains.这很可能是你作为父母最持久的角色。”这是当父母不在身边时，是孩子离开家进入社会生活后，孩子脑海中的父母，是所有早期角色的教导产生共鸣的声音，”弗格森解释说。
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