从轮式站起来——我是如何战胜恐惧的

玉蝴蝶YOGA 2021-12-03

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此文章为 Jessica Lynne Trese 老师所著，原文链接如下：

Standing up from back-bending – how I overcame my fears – Yoga Chikitsa

Standing up from back-bending – how I overcame my fears

从轮式站起来——我是如何战胜恐惧的

When practicingAshtanga Yoga in the Mysore room, students begin a deep and intense series ofback-bending toward the end of Primary Series. It begins by doing yourback-bends on the floor (urdhva dhanurasana) and then standing-up from thisposition. Next you learn how to move backward from a standing position to landin urdhva dhanurasana, and then come back up to a standing position again. Andthen repeat. And then repeat.

在Mysore教室练习Ashtanga Yoga时，学生们在初级序列的结束体式中首先开始深入且强烈的一系列后弯体式。首先是在地面上做后弯（urdhva dhanurasana），并且接着从这里站起来；然后你开始学习如何从站立位向后弯落地进入urdhva dhanurasana，再接着返回到站立位。然后重复、再重复。

This was a HUGEchallenge for me. For a while, I thought I would never be able to do it.

这对当时的我是一个巨大的挑战。我一度认为我永远不可能完成这些体式。

The AshtangaYoga practice is an intense practice of Self-Discovery and HEALING and thejourney is unique for each person. This practice is not only physicallydemanding, it’s emotionally demanding as well. The practice leads studentsinward, toward their TRUE SELF, allowing them to live happier, more honest andpeaceful lives. On this journey, students will no doubt encounter painful,challenging and even frightening moments. It is in these moments when we reallylearn the most about our self. It is through these painful, challenging andfrightening moments when the real yoga happens and we can start to break downthe conditioned patterns that we need to let go.

Ashtanga Yoga是一种强力的练习，在其中实现自我发现和疗愈，而且对每个人来讲，练习之路都是与众不同的。它不仅仅对我们的躯体提出了严格的要求，对我们的情绪精神亦是如此。Ashtanga的练习引领练习者向内心深处的真实自我靠近，进而让生命逐渐充满幸福喜悦、真诚和平和。练习之旅中毫无疑问我们会遭遇疼痛、挑战甚至是恐惧的时刻，然而这正是我们学会了解自我的绝佳机会。只有穿越这些疼痛、挑战和恐惧的时刻，真正的瑜伽才显现其光芒，我们才开始逐渐粉碎过往的应该被抛弃的不良习气。

It is in thesemoments that we are able to grow as humans, for if we truly want to heal andmove past the pain in our life, we have to stop locking it tightly inside ourhearts, we have to let it rise to the surface. We have to stop denying itspresence. Only then can these destructive patterns finally be released.

正是在这些时刻，我们才能真正地成长绽放人性光芒。如果我们虔诚地期望得到治愈并摆脱过往的伤痛，我们必须打开心扉，释放深藏其中的伤痛，让伤痛自行浮出水面。不要否定抗拒它们的存在，这样肆虐的伤痛才能逐渐平息，最终释放消融。

When I firstbegan dropping-back a few years ago, I was fearless. I fell on my head, Ijammed my fingers, I fell on my butt, I fell forward onto my knees – and, Istill kept doing it, everyday. To me, it was fun; it was an adventure – 'what’sgoing to happen this time’?!?! And eventually, I was able to control my decentand land in urdhva dhanurasana consistently, and sometimes even gracefully.

几年前我第一次尝试练习站轮时，我是初生牛犊不怕虎的，结果直接头落到了地上并压伤了手指，然后臀部跌落，并身体向前压在了膝盖上。

现在我仍然每天做站轮，对我来说，它是充满乐趣的，也是一段旅程——这一次又会发生什么呢？最终我能驾轻就熟地向后进入轮式，有时甚至充满优雅感。

But, when itcame to standing up from the back-bends I just couldn’t do it. I was terrified.And worst of all, I had no idea why I was so scared of this part of theback-bending sequence. I understood the mechanics of what I wanted to do; Ijust couldn’t find the path within me to articulate the movement. There wassomething blocking me, something beyond physicality. Something within me washolding me back.

然而，当需要从轮式中站起来的时候，我做不到了，我开始恐惧了，最糟糕的是，我自己都不清楚为什么对站起来如此恐惧。我的大脑知道这动作的运动机制，但是我的身体内在就是不听使唤，身体它不得要领。感觉有东西在阻碍我，某种超越身体的东西，这种内心之中的东西一直如关卡一般卡着我。

Then, one nightI dreamt of my practice. In my dream, I was practicing in Mysore, India withGuruji and Sharath in the room. When it came time for my back-drops, Gurujilooked in my eyes and simply said 'No fear, you stand up.’ My dream was sovivid, so real I can still clearly remember his voice, the look in his eyeswhen he said this to me. So, in my dream I took a big breath in, dropped backto my hands and then… I did it. I stood up from my back-bend!!!! Somehow, in mydream I found the way to send my pelvis forward, and engage my legs so I couldstand on my own from back-bending. It was amazing!!!

然后，有天晚上我梦回印度的Mysore，跟随Guruji和Sharathji练习。当我来到站轮的时候，Guruji看着我的眼睛，简洁地说“不要怕，你站起来”。那梦境特别生动真实，我现在仍能回忆出那声音，那眼神。于是，我在梦中深吸了一口气，向后弯手落地，然后……我竟然做到了：我从后弯中站起来了！！！不知怎么着，在梦中我就找到了骨盆往前送的方法，然后启动双腿我就能从后弯中自己站起来了，太神奇了！！！

I awoke with awonderful feeling in my heart, I felt Guruji had come to me in my dream to helpme. I had his guidance to show me I really could do it. And it was simple, 'nofear, you stand up’. I was excited to practice that day, I was excited to seehow my body responded to this new sub-conscious experience. At the same time, Iwondered why I was so afraid of standing up for myself.

I was afraid tostand up for myself.

伴随着奇妙的感受，我醒了。我感觉Guruji来到我的梦里帮我了，我带着他的指示告诉自己我能做到。一切如此简单，“不要怕，你站起来”。那天我带着激动的心情开始练习，想要看看我的身体在新的潜意识体验的影响下会有何体验。同时，我想知道为什么我当时如此害怕为自己站起来。

我害怕为自己站起来，我害怕坚持真我。

That was it,once again the practice shed light on a part of my life, a part of my heart, Ihad been avoiding up until now. I’ve always been nervous about standing up formyself and my feelings. I have always been unsure about sharing what’s in myheart. I’m afraid I won’t be able to convey my message clearly. I worry aboutwhat others will think of me. I afraid people will judge me for speaking up formyself. I worry people will see me as selfish or egotistical. I afraid of beingtold what I’m feeling is wrong.

就这样，练习再一次照亮了我的生命，照亮我的心的一个角落，我一直在逃避的那个角落。一直以来我都因为坚持真我和真实的想法而紧张。我总是不敢大胆地打开自己的心扉。我总是担心不能清晰地表达自己的想法。我为别人如何看待我而焦虑。每当我坚持真我的时候我就担心人们怎么评价我。我害怕别人说我自私自利。我害怕别人告诉我我的感受都是错误的。

It was then thatI realized I was smothering this part of heart, the part that needed tospeak-up, the part that needed to be heard. All because I was afraid of whatother people would think. This pattern has been with me since childhood, I wastaught that my feelings were wrong, I was taught not to trust myself, not totrust my heart.

从站起来的那一刻起，我才意识到一直以来我都在窒息心灵的那个角落，需要发声需要被听到的那个角落。所有这一切都来自于我过于在乎他人的想法。这种心态从孩童时期就一直伴随着我。大人们一直教育我：我的感觉是错的、不要相信自己、不要相信自己的内心。

But, the practicehas allowed me to clear away the chaos of the mind (at least a little bit) so Iam starting to find the confidence to share my heart in a way others canunderstand. The practice has allowed me to look inside my heart, inside mySelf, to start to see who I really am – instead of seeing who I thoughteveryone else wanted me to be.

但是，练习让我学会了扫除头脑中的喧嚣（至少是一点点），于是我开始找到了以一种他人能理解的方式分享自己内心的自信。练习教会我向内心去看，看向内在的真我，开始去看清自己的本真——而不是那个我想象的别人想让我成为的那个我。

Finally, I’mstarting to learn that it’s absolutely perfect to just be me.

最后，我终于开始明白，简单做自己是如此地美妙完美。

I’m beginning tofind the openness, the freedom that comes with letting myself be vulnerable and completely mySELF. And it is AMAZING!!!!!! And, I can also stand up from back-bends now, butit’s not about the poses, it’s about the experience, the JOURNEY inside thatreally matters.

随着卸下负担防备，完全地做自己，我开始发现随之而来的开放感和自由感。这种感觉太棒了！！！并且现在我也完全能自己从后弯中站起来了，但是这已经不仅仅是关于体式了，这是一种体验，一场至关重要的内心之旅。

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