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手绘思维导图,助力读后续写

 江湖留传说 2022-03-20

读后续写主要依照内容情节、词汇语法及衔接连贯等三个评价维度分7档评分。如何帮助考生高效审题答题,是亟需解决的问题。深度学习是新课标积极倡导的学习方式,而思维导图可将抽象的思维及信息可视化,本文以2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写为例,说明如何手绘思维导图,助力读后续写。

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读后续写六步解题

1. 记住WHO原则,划出关键信息

我们阅读文本时着重找出记叙文的七个要点5W1H1O(简称为“WHO”),即语篇涉及的人物(who)、地点(where)、时间(when)、事件(what)、故事的起因(why)、发展过程(how),以及文章的架构(order)。具体问题链如下:

Who were the main characters in this story? 

When and where did this story happen? 

What happened in the given part of thestory? Why? How? 

What order was the story organized?

我们应边读边快速划出关键信息,尽快进入答题状态。

2. 手绘思维导图,梳理故事脉络

我们划出关键词句后,可手绘思维导图梳理信息,提炼故事主干信息。如: 

图片

3. 画出Story mountain,解读记叙文

记叙文一般包括开端、发展、高潮、回落、结局故事的主要冲突和矛盾一般发生在原文高潮部分,而故事的回落和结局就是考生要续写的部分。2021新高考全国I卷读后续写标题A MOTHER'S DAY SURPRISE及故事开端中“How pleasedand proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.”皆为续写结局埋下伏笔。故事开端中双胞胎迫不及待想为妈妈准备早餐,故事发展时他们进展顺利,到高潮时他们状况百出、手忙脚乱,这些皆为结局埋下暗线。续写时要注意与前文呼应,故下文要有双胞胎做好早餐并拿到妈妈床前,母亲惊喜交加的场景设置,展现亲情和爱的主题。故事山如下图:

图片

4. 关注两个段首句,定好故事发展线

读后续写要注意多维度衔接,包括与所给段首句的衔接,续写第一段与第二段的衔接,续写段落与原文在内容逻辑、思维模式及语言风格上的衔接,故事内在意义也要连贯且凸显主题。我们续写前应重点分析两个段首句,第二个段首句尤为关键,它暗示了故事的发展走向,对结局的设定至关重要。由于续写语篇要求150词左右,且分为两段,而结局一般由两三个主要场景构成。考生注意不能因某个小场景占用过多篇幅,喧宾夺主。如果次要场景过度渲染,主要场景因篇幅不够草草了事,会使文章布局失衡影响得分。所以,列提纲,会取舍,有全局观很重要。该题依据段首句中“their father appeared”及“The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.”我们可手绘思维导图列提纲如下:

图片

5. 巧用细节描写图,增强故事画面感

细节描写不是越多越好,应紧扣主题合理设置。我们要分配好几个主要场景的篇幅,并精选适当的动作、心理、情感、语言、环境描写,以增强故事的可读性。该题故事发生在厨房,环境刻画没有发展空间,可弱化环境描写,着重于动作和情感描写来凸显亲情主题。此外,可适当设计简短对话,并灵活使用衔接词和多样化的句式,在语言的风格和形式上与原文协同。我们可手绘思维导图,列出需要的词块句式。如:

图片

6. 重视结尾,深化主题

2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写围绕人与自我主题,选取了母亲节当天为母亲做早饭的语篇,呈现了劳动教育,亲情、和谐家庭的主题,该考题主要体现了德智体美劳中的劳育和德育。续写部分明线是“A Mother's Day Surprise”,暗线是“love among families”,我们只要围绕主题,采用自然结尾式、以景结情式、哲理式结尾等均可。

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参考范文及习作对比点评

1. 2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写由原文微调后的参考范文如下(采用自然结尾式):

As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared. With one look he knew what they were up to(动作词块、宾语从句). Seeing(现在分词作状语)their disappointed faces(神态词块), he told them to clean up(动作词块)the kitchen while he helped them make breakfast for Mother(时间状语从句). Thetwins cheered up(情感词块)and did as told(动作词块). Within an hour(衔接词), the kitchen was cleaned(被动句), and Father hadmade some egg sandwiches and cooked some oat porridge. Then(衔接词)he sneaked back to bed(动作词块). The twins prepared the breakfast tray(动作词块),adding a card(现在分词作伴随状语)they had made(后置定语)and stepped out of the kitchen(动作词块).

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. They hugged her, yelling(现在分词作伴随状语)“Happy Mother's Day, darling Mummy!”(简短对话,呼应前文) Mother hugged the twins. Her eyes widened at the sight of the breakfast tray(情感词块, eyes widened 呼应标题surprise). She shook Father who was pretending to snore(定语从句). He feigned astonishment(情绪词块)when he saw the breakfast(时间状语从句). Mother bit into a sandwich(动作词块)and said it was the best sandwich she had ever tasted(凸显主题love). Jeff immediately wanted to have a bite. Jenna caught her fathers eyeand they winked at each other secretly(动作词块).

点评:该文内容完整,情节合理,句式丰富,运用课标词汇及精彩词块,故事画面感强。

2. 笔者指导学生按六步解题法解答2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写,习作如下:

As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared. Seeing the kitchen in a mess(现在分词作状语、环境描写), he immediately realized what happened(宾语从句). Thetwins felt upset(情绪词块)and said,“We just want to give Mommy a surprise, help us, Daddy.”(简短对话,呼应标题surprise)Father agreed with a friendly smile(神态、动作词块). The twins did as their father said, cleaning up(动作词块)the messy kitchen soon. Then(衔接词)with the help of their father, the twins cooked the breakfast again.Fortunately(衔接词), everything seemed perfect in the end. The twins felt more than delighted(情感词块)when they walked out of the kitchen with their breakfast tray(时间状语从句).Then they added a card for Mothers Day with their best wishes.

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. Unaware of(形容词短语)what happened(宾语从句),Mother woke up with her eyes half widening to see the twins(动作词块). Whata surprise it was!(感叹句,呼应标题surprise)Their mother was so moved(情感词块)that she huggedher two sweethearts happily. Joyfully(衔接词),Jeff couldn't wait to taste the yummy porridge while Jenna bit the delicious bread(状语从句).Mother read the card and ate the tasty breakfast with the twins, expressing he rhappiness and gratitude(动作、情感词块). She said this was the best gift that she had ever received(点题). Father also pretended to be amazed to see the breakfast the twins brought to them(后置定语). What really happened in the morning(主语从句)was a sweet secret among Father and the twins. What an unforgettable Mother's Day for the family!(结尾点题)

点评:该文情节合理,主题积极,故事连贯,语言流畅,但稍欠文采。我们要在学习中整理笔记,积累词块,学习范文及英文原著中丰富细致的表达。

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结语

考生可依据“读”“看”“写”深度结合的六步解题法,辅以手绘思维导图,实现“阅读”和“写作”的深度融合。考生应有意识地使用3000个高中课标词汇,并围绕主题适当使用细节描写和多样化句型,提升语篇文采。续写故事要注意与原文的融洽度,内容结构完整、情节逻辑合理、语言准确丰富、衔接连贯自然。

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